The Collinsport Chronicles XXII: Ruby Tate
by Maryland Rose
Summary: Barnabas had a debt to settle with the spirit of the girl he killed in 1795. But what form will payment take?
1. Chapter 1

Barnabas has been rescued from the imprisonment that Trask and otehrs had condemned him to, thanks to Ruby Tate's help. But her help has a price. He must allow her to use his body to experience all she has missed due to his early death. Julia and Willie have recoverd as they were hostages taken by Trask to compel Barnabas to deliver himself to them. As he offered himself willingly they have no more power over him. Gratitude at his rescue, and the effects of Woodard's manipulation have made Barnabas start a love affair with George Brant, the sheriff.

* * *

RUBY TATE

Chapter 1

Edmund and Roger were assembling an airplane model together,, among a mess of sawdust, glue, and assorted odds and ends.

"Make sure you clean up after you are done." Carolyn said. "You have to learn to pick up after yourselves."

"Of course, we will" Roger grumbled. "I will make sure of it."

Roger would not do such a thing. He was more of a child than Edmund himself.

She should be grateful for that. Edmund had kept Roger busy and way from the kind of trouble that she had resigned herself to expect.

And it had changed her too. Already she had trouble remembering that Edmund was adopted. He had grown in her, even if at the start he had only been the means to keep Roger from willing all his money to David.

That seemed so long ago...

She heard the knock at the door, a d a few seconds later the maid led Barnabas to her.

"You look a lot better" she a\said to him.

"Thanks. Julia just gave me a clean bill of health. She cut the tape off my wrists at last." he moved his hands "I had almost forgotten how to use them, can you believe?"

"I am sorry for what happened to you. It must have been horrible.

Barnabas nodded. He sensed that she was not wholly comfortable with him, yet. There had been too much bitterness between the two of them and it would not vanish overnight.

"You come here for your visitation rights. I imagine." Sarcasm was not wholly absent from her voice.

"Yes. We agreed on it."

"Edmund is up. I will see if the wants to see you."

Barnabas strode in, looking longingly towards the boy who could, SHOULD have been his.

"Edmund" he said. "How are you doing?"

Edmund looked up. His face showed fear and mistrust, but he did not scream, for which Barnabas was grateful.

"I came to see how you are doing." Barnabas knelt down. "I see that you are busy."

Roger interposed himself. "What do you want here, anyway?"

"I want to see him."

"Well, he does not want to see you." Roger spat out. "Can't you tell when you are not wanted?"

"Uncle Roger." Carolyn protested. "I said that it was all right."

"It is not all right! He has David, doesn't he? I want him away from Edmund."

Barnabas turned to Carolyn, trying to hide his hurt.

"I am sorry, I really am."

And she was, Barnabas knew it. Yet he could not restrain himself from making an nasty comment. "someone must have been filling his head with ideas."

"Uncle Roger, of course." she shrugged. "and remember that Edmund saw you in your coffin."

Barnabas sighed. "You are right. I had no right..."

"Do you want some booze?" she offered "sometimes it helps."

"I think I do."

Carolyn poured down the brandy. "I wonder if you can take this... It is not what you usually take..."

"I can handle it, don't worry." Barnabas took the glass "But I prefer to space it. I don't want to become dependent on it." he swallowed it. "One monkey on my back is all I can afford."

"It is strange, seeing you drink from a glass."

"Yes, it is. It is good to see Roger caring so much for Edmund."

"Yes. It is good for both of them."

"Still, Edmund needs friends of his own age."

"Elsa comes to visit him."

Barnabas nodded. "I guess that you'll be sending him off to school."

"I'd rather hire a governess for him."

"Why? Regular school is not good enough for him?"

"He's a Collins. And Collinses do not go to school."

"That's what the problem with us. We were told that as members of the Collins family nothing was good enough for us. We believed it, and we turned out the way we did."

"You included?"

"Me included. My father believed in both spoiling his children materially while starving them emotionally " he pursed his lips. "I survived thanks to Jeremiah and Sarah... and what they got for loving me.;.."

"Well," Carolyn looked at her watch." For how long are you going to mope and moan?"

Barnabas laughed. "You got my number."

"Yes, I do. As you have mine."

They sat down on the couch. "Was it bad? What they did to you?"

"I hope you never find out what it is like."

Carolyn nodded, shivering. ...she could not know what is was like. Her own efforts to imagine it made her break into a cold sweat and brought about nightmares about a giant serpent coming down to swallow her...

"I think that I already know some of it." she confessed " When the Leviathan returned... Yes, I finally accepted the truth of what happened. I could not lie to myself anymore."

Barnabas nodded "Sooner or later we have to stop doing that."

* * *

Delia put the purchase on the counter so that Iris could ring the cash register.

"So how is Violet?" Delia asked while Iris filled the paper bag. "I used to be friends with her in High School."

"Seems better. Of courses, she still has to learn how to keep away from the wrong men. I don't know if she can do that."

"I knew somebody like that. Finally she solved her problem more or less."

"How?"

"She became a lesbian."

Iris' grimace told Delia that her attempt at humor was not appreciated.

"In Violet's case it would only lead her to going to the wrong women."

Delia had to agree with that.

Iris wished that she could trust Delia more. She HAD been friends with Violet, and she was not the type to be repeating juicy gossip. But what she had heard of Delia's private life...

Iris set her jaw. Delia as what Violet needed now. Somebody who could teach her how to get rid of undesirable men.

* * *

Barnabas held George very close, wondering why it felt so good, when all his life he had been taught it was wrong.

He had given up the charade with the gag. It was silly. He had wanted George to make love to him, and pretending he was raped was just silly.

Still, some part of him worried. What would his family say? They would be shocked...

His family was now Liz, Roger, Carolyn, Quentin, and David. Would they really care? Not Quentin, with his own scandalous history. Not Roger, unless he could figure out that the framing of Nixon was connected. David? David was just too grateful to have his life back to care. Liz, who eloped with her daughter fiancé was not likely to be scandalized... As for Carolyn... one more adjustment to make in their reconciliation...

But what would Joshua say?

Joshua had condemned to the torment of the locked coffin. He could not care less for what Joshua would have to say on the subject.

George opened his eyes. "I would like to stay..." he said.

"But you cannot. I know , you are the sheriff, you have to run for reelection, and you cannot let people suspect how it is..."

"Yes."

"Strange, I spent my first years trying desperately to protect my secret. Then I finally manage to make it public, and then everything is a lot easier... But now I have a new secret to protect. Funny how things work out."

And, he thought, but not said, he was keeping the secret to protect the old lover of a man who he had killed to protect his own secret then...

The twists and turns of life...

George got up and got dressed. "I do wish I could stay." he said.

"But you got a sheriff's office to run. And you do it well."

George left and Barnabas saw his car go. He looked at the night... It was so beautiful... He turned around and looked at his home.

He thought he would never see it again, that he had lost it all. Yet here he was, looking at a fireplace, which now held no salamanders... It was good to see, to hear, to smell, to touch...

It was so good to touch and be touched. to hold another body next to his, and to feel the pressure against his skin...

He no longer was on that plank, begging his tormentors to finish him off, to allow him to die...

No, it was over. George had rescued him...

He would hold Willie's child in his arms...

It had all seemed gone. Lost in time, the time that had swallowed up Ben, Joshua, Daniel, Millicent... so many others... and he could have lost all he had...

But he had not. He was back, and he had the assurance that Trask no longer held power over him...

And now he was George's lover.

Was it love or gratitude? He did not know, nor he did not know how much was Dave's manipulations. What he knew was that from the moment he had been brought back he wanted George o touch him, and he wanted to touch George, even in the most intimate ways...

A woman's laughter reached him.

"What did the two of you do?"

Barnabas turned to face Ruby Tate. who was laughing at him.

"You and that cop. That's rich, that's real good.! I loved watching you do it! You are doing it with a lousy cop!"

"I am, Ruby," he said softly. He sense that he'd better not antagonize her.

"I bet that the high and mighty Mr. Joshua Collins would be very proud of his son... And that fancy French lady you wanted to marry, what would she say if she saw you with your cop?

Josette... involuntarily he twitched. if Josette ever saw him...

He steady himself. Josette had returned his ring, telling him that he was free to love again.

"What do you want, Ruby?"

"You promised me something, didn't you?"

He had done so, willingly "What are your terms?"

"I want to use your body so I may learn all that I never knew. I want to see the world through your eyes, and learn whatever lessons I can that way."

"I ..." he was willing to agree, but he thought of an objection. "As long as no one else is hurt, Can you promise me that?"

Ruby grumbled "Are you trying to weasel out?"

"I will give you satisfaction, Ruby. but not at someone else's expense. Come back tomorrow and I'll tell you what I have to offer you."


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

It was Sebastian Shaw who admitted him, and he was still wrapped in his bathrobe. Barnabas lifted his eyebrows, but said nothing.

"You want to see Angelique, right?" Sebastian said, curtly.

"Yes." he smiled encouragingly "and there is not need for you to feel so defensive. You and Angelique have a perfect right to do what you want.,"

"But you don't really approve?"

"I was just surprised to see that you had returned, that's all."

"You think that out of respect for Roxanne, I should keep away from Angelique."

"Is that what you think?" Barnabas shook his head. "For purely selfish reasons, I am in favor of anyone making love to Angelique. Anybody but me."

Sebastian lowered his head "Roxanne did hate her."

"For a long time I hated Angelique too., and with good cause. But time has a way of healing wounds... Sebastian, you do not owe to Roxanne to live out your life for her."

"Still... you think it is wrong."

"I think what I think, but you cannot go by my musings. I have been known to make serious errors before."

The arrival of Angelique interrupted their conversation.

"Barnabas!" she said with surprise. "I did not know that Julia had let you out at last."

"Yes. She did. She finally convinced herself that I wasn't going to go berserk. She had reason to believe I would. The kind of treatment Trask put me through is not recommended for mental health."

"No, it isn't" she shuddered. "And somehow you survived."

Barnabas nodded "I' rather not talk about it." he shifted his weight from one leg to the other. "I come to you because of one problem, or rather two."

He told her of Ruby, and what she wanted. What he owed here, and how he wanted to give her what she wanted.

"You cannot let her get control." Angelique warned her. "I take that you feel duty bound to help her."

"Yes. I _do_ want to help her. She needs help."

"Of course. But remember you must be the one in control. Remember what happened when Julia lost control over you in 1967. Think of her as a patient. It is never a good idea to let the inmates run the asylum. But if you can keep control, then you should do it. Set boundaries, and expect her to respect them. If not, you must be able to close yourself to her, and explain again what the rules are. Do not let her to possess you completely. Think of her as a guest. The moment she stops behaving like one, then expel her, and start the relationship all over. Remember that a whore's life does not teach kindness nor concern for others. She is very likely bitter and resentful. If she gets control, it may end up badly.""

He made a note of that. Be in control. Be the therapist. Treat her as any other patient. Be kind, be helpful, be compassionate. But be firm, most of all.

"What is the second problem?"

"Your original curse, is it still on? I mean the part that anyone who loves me will die, and anyone I love will die?"

"Stop worrying about it. First it is Jeb's curses you have now. Second, I implemented an escape clause, a modification, quite a while ago. I added a little modifier "In the fullness of time." Basically it means that they will not die immediately. There is no reason for them not to die of old age, in the next century."

"That's a relief."

"I am curious, why do you want to know? Is there a new love in your life?"

"Yes."

"I knew it... You know, dear Barnabas, the curses does no specify only romantic love. Any kind of love will do. The love you have for Willie, for example would have made the curse kick in if I had not modified it."

He nodded. He should have figured it out...

"But now, you are in love again. Is it serious?"

"Yes."

"Like it was with Josette?"

"Yes."

"Do I know her?"

Barnabas smiled, a bit shamefacedly. "It is not a her."

"It is a man?" Angelique's jaw dropped "You are in love with a man?"

Barnabas nodded. "I thought you would understand. After all, you and Megan.."

Angelique shook her head. "Now I have heard everything. You of all people. What is the world coming to?"

* * *

Violet looked out of the window, hugging herself.

"There is not reason why you should not go out. "Iris said with equanimity.

"I feel that there is danger."

"There isn't. Anyway, it is daytime and that means that Barnabas isn't around, if that's what worries you."

Violet said nothing to this and Iris cursed Barnabas inwardly. That nocturnal visit of his was just what Violet did not need.

Finally Violet spoke "You are not afraid of him, are you?"

"No. I am not. I am angry, but that is different."

The way Violet's eyes glazed over, Iris knew that she was reliving the time when Barnabas had attacked her, twelve years ago.

They had both been attacked by him, within one week. But while Iris had put it behind her to the point of becoming the mistress, for a while, of her erstwhile attacker and bullying him when she felt that the occasion called for it, Violet had dwelled on it, fueling her own insecurities and making her dependent on others, specially on men. The wrong men.

"There is no danger whatsoever." Iris repeated. "And Barnabas isn't in much of a shape lately to make trouble for you."

But Violet's face did not change. "How can you remain here, knowing what he is, and what he does?"

"It is easy."

* * *

Willie looked abashed. It was his fault, he knew, that Barnabas had had all that trouble. And he had hurt Louella, too...

"Are you feeling guilty?' Barnabas asked him gently.

"Yes. About the tings I said to you and Louella."

"You didn't know better."

"I told Louella it wasn't my baby."

"You were back in 67, and you were not married then. In 67 you had not met Louella yet."

"And the things I said to you..."

"They were perfectly understable."

"It must have hurt you terribly to hear what I said."

"Yes." Barnabas nodded. "Because all of it was true."

"I..." tears began to form in Willie's eyes. "I had no right..."

"Willie, Willie.." Barnabas shook his head indulgently "don't blame yourself for events over which you had no control. Don't be so self-centered. You were used, that was all."

"Still, I..."

"Oh, Willie. There you go, convincing yourself that you had some sort of control over it. You didn't. It is very unpleasant to realize that you are just a pawn. Guilt is much easier to bear than that."

Willie looked up with sad dog eyes.

"I know, Willie. It isn't a pleasant thing to know. When Megan told me why Jason McGuire and Carl Collins had died I should have been relieved that I was not wholly my fault. But instead I felt degraded. Guilt, I could live with, but not knowing that I could be used so, and to have no way to stop it."

"And then you did that for me. You traded your life for mine."

"I can't think of anybody else I'd do it more willingly. Don't you know how important you are to me?"

"And then you were sick and I never went to visit you."

"Willie" his voice was stern. "Don't be ridiculous. The hospital had not released you. Louella did come in, even if Julia was not too happy about it."

Tears were now flowing very easily from Willie's eyes and from Barnabas' too.

They embraced each other.

"Just don't give me another of these scares, will you?" Barnabas asked him. "promise me that you'll stay out of trouble."

* * *

Carolyn read the letters, all applying for the governess position. How quickly did time pass. First the governesses came to teach her. Then it had been David's turn: Vicky and Maggie. And now, she herself was hiring one for Edmund.

She was glad that she was the one asking for references, not the other way around. Imagine, trying to explain Roger's behavior (at least Edmund had calmed him down a lot). Or explaining Barnabas. Yes, he's a vampire. Yes, my dear. I am being serious. He _does_ sleep in a coffin, and fly, and... everything else. But he's basically harmless.

If she had to give those explanations she would be thought crazy...

"My mother tried to kill my father. My father sold me to inhuman creatures. My cousin tried to kill my uncle by tampering with his car. My uncle is a mental case. My aunt is a phoenix. My husband is kept eternally young by a special portrait. My son comes from another dimension. Some of my cousins run on all fours... And I ask for character references..."

* * *

Julia enjoyed the spring day in the outdoors cafe. This was her favorite table and she enjoyed sitting there today.

It was a good time to take stock of herself. Her marriage to Kenneth was over. She refused to consider whose fault it was. She better accept it and move forward. She had wasted too much time in the past wanting for something that could not be. She hoped she had better sense now.

Inwardly she felt at peace. For the first time in many years she was at peace. She was not surprised to notice that the last vestiges of her love for Barnabas was gone. Only friendship remained, and that's how it should be.

George and Barnabas seemed happy with each other. Well, good for both of them.

Her love for Barnabas had had hidden poison in it, she realized now. At what point did she decide that she wanted his declaration of love only to scorn him, and mock him for it? She had wanted to reject him brutally and laugh at him...

But that was a crazy dream, and she knew now that it was crazy.,, Now, that Dave had set her free...

* * *

"Is it going to be all right?" Willie asked anxiously.

Kenneth shrugged. Louella was having a normal pregnancy, but try telling Willie that.

Willie was a textbook case, all right. Barely recovered and out of the hospital, and he was down with sympathetic labor pains.

"Are you prescribing tranquilizers for Louella? Is that safe for her?"

"These are for you. Take them."

* * *

George could not come today. There had been a crisis and he had to attend to it. And he missed him already.

Was it possible then that he loved George this much? Ever since they had started, the depth of his feelings for him surprised him.

And then there was Ruby... He could lose George, something warned him, through something she forced on him...

He recalled Angelique's warning, about not ceding control to Ruby, to hold some power back.

He also recalled Ruby's scornful words when she had found him in George's arms, making him ashamed and making him doubt...

He owed Ruby. had it not been for her, he'd still be strapped to that plank.

"So is it yes?

Ruby was in front of him, still scowling.

"Ruby" he said, and there was warmth in his voice. "I know what I promised you. I will give it to you."

"I want to use your body for it."

"You may use it, as long as you don't use it to hurt anyone."

"Are you putting conditions?"

"You can use me to experience what I do. But I do not inflict needless hurt. And that I shall not allow you."

"So you are denying me?

"No. I am inviting you in. I know that it is going to be hard, and that you will hurt me somehow."

"Still, it will hurt less than having your head chopped off. Or not chopped off."

"Yes. I hope that you can learn from it, Ruby. I hope that we can get close, you and I."

He remembered how it had been with Dave, how the closeness had blossomed into an emotional dependency and a warm friendship whose memory had the power to both sadden and warm him.

Maybe the same thing would happen with Ruby. He hoped so.

"Use my body for what you need, Ruby."

Ruby vanishes.

He wondered if Ruby had begun her possessing, wondered what it would be like to have her looking through his eyes, hearing through his ears, knowing what he knew, feeling what he felt.

Then he heard the footsteps. a man's footsteps, coming from Buffy's room.

He glided up, just in time to see Frank Torrance getting out, his shoes in his hand...

* * *

Herbert Miller had never seen so much money. All for one run? It seemed too much.

He had made money before, but it had been simple stuff. If he had been caught, he would have been let off with a fine and a warning.

But this much money made him uneasy. It spelled mandatory sentence to him.

Sure, it was great having all that money. It would allow him to finally divorce Sandy. Still, the risk was too great.

If he was caught...

He decided not to get caught. He opened the drawer where he always kept his gun. He would start carrying it. And put silver bullets in case Megan Graham or Barnabas Collins began nosing around.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

Sebastian watched the rain hit the window, as he waited for Angelique to return.

He shouldn't stay inside. He should go out and do something with himself. It wasn't right to have Angelique pay all the bills, without his even trying to find some kind of a job.

But wasn't that what he had done with Roxanne? Even as an astrologer, he had managed only because of Roxanne.

That was different. Roxanne had needed him to watch over her during the day, to run errands for her, to help move her coffin, to provide her with nourishment when she did not want to go out. And to love her, and be loved in return.

Angelique...what was he to Angelique? Some vague idea of avenging Roxanne had brought him back to Collinsport and made him court Angelique... but he had not followed through. He did not hate Angelique...He liked her in many ways. She somehow reminded him of Roxanne.

But she was not Roxanne...

* * *

"Buffy" Frank hesitated as he began to dress again.

"What?"" Buffy turned in the bed.

"I notice the sheriff is coming here very often."

"Yes." Buffy looked at him, mildly amused.

"I wonder why he comes this often. It can't be all official business."

Buffy laughed "Are you wondering if they do downstairs what we do upstairs?"

Frank blushed "I... I did not mean to imply..."

Buffy laughed again. "Yes, they do?."

"What? Barnabas? And Brant?"

"Yes, the two of them."

"I...I..."

Buffy snorted "What's so important about it, anyway?"

"You don't care at all about it?"

"He's a vampire. He brought me from an alternate reality. You and I made love to salamanders who used us for their purposes. And _now_ you get picky."

"But the sheriff, he always looked so..."

"So straight? Well, yes. But what does that bother you? As if there was not enough here to worry about. As for myself, Barnabas saved me from Haskell and gave me a home. And he doesn't care about your coming here for me. The least I can do is not make a fuss as to who he chooses to sleep with."

* * *

Julia poured Willie some herb tea.

"You have nothing to worry about" she insisted. "Barnabas is doing fine."

"I feel awful guilty about it." Willie admitted "I couldn't even offer him my blood when he was mending himself."

"You were not in shape for that. And neither was Louella. How's she, by the way?"

"Kenneth says that she's fine. But I can't keep from worrying."

And that, Julia thought, was the understatement of the year. Probably Willie was driving Kenneth crazy.

"Willie, there is one thing that you can do for Barnabas."

"Do? What can I do?"

"You can give him something that he needs very much." Julia searched for the right words. "Something happened after her recovered. Nothing serious." she hastened to add "he's in no danger whatsoever. He's having a love affair. He's very serious about it. And this time, it is kind of different."

"Who's she?"

"It's a he."

"That's impossible! Not him!"

"It is happening. And as far as he is concerned, it is true love."

"I refuse to believe it."

"You have to. And more important, you have to be able to accept it. He cares a lot for what you think. If he were to sense that you condemn him for it, he would be terribly hurt."

Willie was silent for some moments. Acid words fought to come up his lips. Old jokes that he had repeated over and over. What he had known in jail. His own memories of men who were proud of not being fags when they had nothing else to be proud of.

And then Barnabas, who could be hurt. Who had been already hurt too much.

"You said that you wanted to do something for him." Julia insisted. "and you can. He can get blood from other sources, but only you can look at him straight in the eye ands tell him that it makes no difference to you."

Willie nodded. "It ain't gonna be easy" he confessed.

* * *

He closed his eyes and felt the presence inside him. Ruby was now behind his eyes, watching his every move.

It was strange. He was not sure that he liked it. It scared him more than a bit. Still, Ruby could not use his body unless he willed it...

Of course, he realized now, he should have held on until after he had fed. Now Ruby would be watching from inside him as he did it...

But then Frances would not see Ruby, and would never know that her privacy had been invaded.

He had to go. And he remembered, that was part of what he promised Ruby...

Ruby watched him intently... In a way, she had a right to, no matter how uncomfortable it made him feel. She had died because he had not done it properly. Now she had to see how it when when it was done right.

Frances held him close, trying not to think what he had gone through.

He moved his lips over her neck and bit. And Ruby Tate tasted blood.

* * *

Peter, pick you your things." Iris told her nephew, her patience wearing thin.

"You pick them up!" Peter said insolently.

"Peter, _you_ pick them up." Iris tried to keep calm, trying to remember that it wasn't Peter's fault that he had been so badly raised by his father and Violet.

"You do it." Peter said petulantly. "You are a woman."

Iris almost struck him then. Just like his father.

"Peter." She caught him by the arms and shook him. "Whether you like it or not, this is my house and you do as I say. You pick up after yourself, or you get no dinner tonight."

"Don't touch me!" Peter growled at her. "Don't you dare talk to me that way. I'll tell mother on you."

She should not do it. But she did it. She slapped him.

* * *

Ruby had been silent after she had watched him feed. She had asked not explanations, nor made comments. Yet.

And he was alone thinking thoughts that were veering into an uncomfortable zone.

He loved George. And George loved him. It was not love like it had been with Josette and Roxanne... But it was strong. He had come to crave acts that in the past would have filled him with fear an revulsion. Because it was George...

He felt more strongly about George than he had for anyone.. Not even Josette? He wondered about that. Was the Josette of his memory the same Josette he had known? It was difficult to tell...

Josette was dead, and George was alive. And willing...

Would it last? And was it real?

Was it real love? Or was it a mixture of gratitude and the effect of Dave's manipulation? Dave had wanted to make George happy and if delivering him to George's bed was what it took then...

Was it real?

He did not know. He only knew that he wanted George, and that George wanted him...

There was laughter and Ruby Tate was in front of him.

"You and that cop." she said, snickering." that is disgusting."

Barnabas shivered. "Where you still,...inside me?"

"Not while you were doing it."

"Thanks. It is just too private. I still have misgivings about letting you spy on Frances and me."

"She did not know I was there." she made a face. "You were right about it. It can be harmless. Too bad it was not for me."

Barnabas nodded. "I am glad you found it that way."

She had been so young. She had missed too many things. Missed on too much of love, too much of friendship. The life she led had not provided much of it... It was up to him to give her those things now, if that was possible.

"It disturbs me that other people can be involved." he said. "Frances was not hurt, but it made me uneasy... Ruby, we have to be careful we do not hurt anyone."

Suddenly Ruby laughed. There was harshness in her laugh. Barnabas was startled at it, but reminded himself that she was not his friend. She had rescued him not out of affection, but because she balked at torture.

"You'll pay what you owe me."

'Yes."

Ruby shrugged "I never knew love, not the way you claim I should know it. Not the way you seem to think it is between you and your cop."

Barnabas blanched. "What are you suggesting?"

"The next time you go at it, I want to be in it."

Barnabas fought down his revulsion. "I cannot allow it. Not that."

The smile in her face was ugly. Life had been hard for her, and it had made her cruel.

But, he reminded himself, she could not possess him without his cooperation.


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4

"How much do you need?" Barnabas pulled out his wallet, not bothering to wipe off the blood from his mouth in his haste.

"Fifty would tide us over until payday" Melody Clark said.

Barnabas counted the bills and gave them to her.

She took them, still looking incredulously as to how easy it had turned out to be. "I will pay you back next month" she said with fervor..

"You pay me when you can. But you should get your husband to seek help. His gambling is getting out of control"

"Dale does not want to see a shrink."

"He could go to Gamblers Anonymous. They can help him stop."

Melody thought about it. "I will try to get him to go." she said.

He left, while she was still thanking him effusively. No sooner he was out that he heard Ruby snort.

"You will never see your money again."

"Maybe I will. Most of them pay it back. In any case, she needs it."

"And she sells herself to you for it."

"No, she doesn't..." but he knew better "Yes, in a way, he does it."

"Great sob story, wasn't it?"

"It was true, at least part of it."

"And I imagine you feel good about it now."

There was something in Ruby's eyes that made him shiver involuntarily. "Yes, I do." he admitted. And he wondered how she would twist that admission to hurt him.

He didn't have to wait long. "Yes, you always were very generous, weren't you?" You always had money form those who needed it. You always had money. It must be wonderful to have all the money you want and to be able to feel good by throwing it around. After all, it was only money and it came to you quite easily. It never cost you anything." She twisted her face and spat out the next words "You never knew what being hungry means! Well, I'll tell you all about it!"

There was bewilderment now in Barnabas. "What would you have me do?"

Ruby laughed harshly "I want you to listen to me. I want you to learn what my life was like. I want you to know why I walked the docks, cold and hungry, trying to find someone to help me eat for the night. I want you to know about my child and how she died. And don't try to offer me money. I can't use it anymore."

So she told him of her daily struggle to say alive. Of her clients, of the ones who abused her. She told him of walking the streets in the snow, made him feel the cold that she had once felt.

He could not look at her anymore. Maybe he could atone for Ruby's death. But who could atone for Ruby's life?

"I am sorry" he said lamely.

Ruby laughed and disappeared.

* * *

"Yolanda Oates" Carolyn studied the woman standing in front of her. She looked competent enough "You see to have good references, Ms. Oates."

"Thank you," Yolanda Oates said.

She was certainly qualified. She could be a good teacher for Edmund. She wished that she could be warmer, as Vicky had been, but her own governess had been more of Ms. Oates' type and it had not harmed her any.

She was a competent teacher, and that was what she wanted for Edmund.

* * *

Barnabas was about to go out when Willie came in.

"Willie" Barnabas said, surprised at the grimness of his expression "is anything wrong?"

"Nothing wrong." Willie shook his head "I had a lot of thinking to do about something that Julia told me."

"Julia? What did she tell you?"

"That you... that you are having an homosexual affair."

Barnabas looked away "I would not call it an affair. It is more serious than that." he braced himself for Willie's condemnation.

"Don't be afraid" Willie said gently "I will not think any less of you for it."

"You won't?"

"No."

Barnabas' face softened "I could understand if you would not. I remember what you told me about jail."

"It was not the same thing. Those guys I told you about, they went after men because there were no women to rape. There was no question of love. And with you it is love, isn't it?"

"Yes, it is love. For both of us."

Willie permitted himself a smile. "I have seen you fall in love several times. I know how much you need it and how it hurts when it is not returned." he laughed "at least this time there is no question of him reminding you of Josette."

"No, none at all." Barnabas laughed, then became serious again. "Does this make a difference?"

"Difference in what?"

"You and I are very close. But that was before I... before this started."

Willie laughed "You think that I worry that you might make a pass at me?"

"I would never do that."

"I know that you wouldn't. Just as you never made a pass at Louella when your were a confirmed heterosexual. I trust you." Willie took Barnabas' hand "Do you remember when I came back in 1970 to find out that Jeb had cursed you again?"

"I do remember."

"I told you that I did not want to stay taking care of you again. And you accepted it. You said I could go."

"But you didn't"

"Because I knew I could trust you. I had not know until then. Things had become a lot easier after you were cured. I found out that it was easier living with you. Not wholly, because there was quite a bit of nastiness that you had not gotten out of your system. But still, it was better. But I always worried what if something happened to Adam. One day you'd look into a mirror, and the mirror would be empty again. And then you'd start abusing me again...But the it happened. The worst that could happen was there. But still, I could trust you. Things would never be back to the way they had been... I have been trusting you ever since."

Barnabas felt his eyes moisten. And he could hear Ruby twittering inside himself, Ruby watching through his eyes... "

"This is what friendship is like, Ruby" he said noiselessly to himself.

* * *

Herbert Miller looked at the man with both greed and fear. It was good money that he was being offered. It was none of his business what was in the boxes they asked him to bring in... Still there was something in the man that made him afraid, and the fear got worse each time the man smiled at him.

"All right." he said "I will make another run tomorrow"

"Good" the man said "It will be worth your while."

Derek, who was nearly almost jumped. He did not recognize the words.. But the voice...

He froze. He remembered not to make any sudden movements that might attract attention. He better keep looking as the paperbacks as he had been doing, while keeping his ears alerted. He did not dare to steal any glances in that direction...

Maybe it was a mistake and it was just a resemblance.

He paid for his paperback and left. He walked away. When he was sure that he could not be seen, he turned into a bat and came back to take a look.

It was him. He had always seen him at a distance before, and was glad of that. He had heard plenty of stories about him. A cold, ruthless killer with a bland smile that turned to mockery the moment he decided to get rid of you. He had once killed a mistress who knew too much, right after making love to her. If half the stories about him were true, they were enough to make you wish never to see him again.

And he was now in Collinsport...

* * *

Barnabas saw how Megan was agitated in his presence. She evidently did not know how to react to what he had undergone. The horror of it was too great, and it was something that she would not know how to cope with...

He offered her a brandy. "Well, I am doing better now. At least that is not something you have to worry about. You do not have angry ghosts asking for revenge after you. Neither does Derek. The only trail he leaves is one of happy bookies. And the trail you leave is of men who only remember having had a good time... "

Megan nodded, but preferred not to comment. No need to go into the subject and letting him get lost in gloomy thoughts. Better find something else to talk about..

"This is good stuff." she said., meaning the brandy. "I am glad you are doing better.. .. I know about you and George. You will be good for each other."

"You have known about him for a long time. He told me how you covered up for him."

"Well, maybe there is not need for it now. You can take over the biting..."

"Yes, I think I might do that..."

"Do you want to discontinue our... times together?"

"I... I do not know. "

"Yes. it is not because of the sex, but because we are the only partners that do not give nervous looks at our mouths..."

"Well, we'll see how it works out."

"One thing," Megan got serious again. "How many people do know about you and George?"

"Julia. Willie. Angelique... maybe Buffy... ..." And Ruby of course, who was watching inside him...

"Well, make sure no one else learns of it. Make sure of Buffy's silence. And impress the others about not saying anything. George's career depends on it. If they find out that he is gay, he will lose the next election."

"Neither Willie or Angelique know that it is him. Julia... well, she helped set it up..."

"I can control Angelique. And you impress Willie on the need to say nothing at all. And don't you go around making confidences to anyone else. I know that you are out of practice at keeping secrets, ever since you went public, but you better relearn how it is done. For George's sake."

Barnabas nodded, accepting the reproof. "Angelique is now living with Sebastian Shaw.. Did you know it?"

"Yes, I know it." Megan looked unhappy. "I don't like it. Do you know why she chose him? To spite me because I would not be her lover, her permanent lover, I mean. So she took him instead. I hope you are not shocked by it."

"I am not. Even thought it is a bit surprising about her."

"She wanted more commitment than I could give her and she could not accept that. I only hope that she has not made a terrible mistake."

"I hope so. I have nothing against him, personally, but the thought crossed my mind that he might want to avenge Roxanne."

"It crossed mine too. But she says that we have nothing to worry about.'

"And what do you think about it?"

"I think that those can be another Famous Last Words. I will keep my eye on him. Maybe even bite Angelique again to keep tabs on her."

* * *

Violet looked a Delia with awe. So strong, so self assured. Not only she once had a vampire for a lover, but she had actually kicked him out.

Delia was strong. Stronger than she could ever be. Stronger than Iris. She was stronger than a man, and she had thought that that could be possible.

"Is it true what they say about you?" she asked "that you beat your men?"

Delia began to bristle at the words, but in Violet's expression there was no condemnation. If anything, there was admiration...

"Only the ones who deserve it." she bragged quietly "You have to keep them in line, you know."

Violet nodded. She could hardly keep her son in line, much less a grown man. And Delia said it that she did it as a matter of course.

"You are strong." she said.

Delia accepted the praise, studying Violet with interested eyes. She was somebody that she had never met before. Somebody with whom she could talk about her interests without apologizing for them.

In fact, Violet seemed so eager to learn...


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5

Zeb had been drinking a bit when Kenneth found him.

"I would be more careful if I were you." he warned him.

Zeb shrugged "I can get up late tomorrow. There is no harm if I go on a bender."

Kenneth shook his head. "A doctor is on call twenty four hours a day, seven days a week. That's why we charge the fees we do."

"I don't charge much. And, anyway, if the call comes when I am still groggy, there are things that I can take to help me wake up."

Kenneth became stern. "That makes it worse. It leads to pill dependency."

Zeb shrugged again.

"I am serious. You know that drug addiction is an occupational hazard. And you seem headed in that direction."

"Well, if I do, I have a good excuse for it."

"No excuse is good enough for that kind of thing."

Zeb looked away. "You sound like Barnabas Collins." he said bitterly. "He's a creep and a murderer, but still goes around lecturing everybody."

"Whatever Barnabas has done..."

"You heard of Uncle Dave? What Barnabas and your wife did to him?"

"That's the reason why Julia and I have separated."

"Then you know why I need a glass of this every now and then. I know all that and I can't touch him. And still he dares lecture me. And not only that. It was not enough that he killed him. He had to drag him through the mud."

He poured out the story, what he had found about George Brant, what he had tried to do, and what Barnabas had done to protect Brant.

"Why?" Kenneth was surprised "Why would you want to hurt Brant?"

"He seduces Uncle Dave. Turned him into...into..."

"I would say that it was the other way around"

Zeb looked at him with dismay "Not you, too."

'George Brant was still a boy while your uncle was a grown man. No grown man has trouble rebuffing the advances of a boy, if that's what he wants."

"He was murdered in cold blood by his friend." Zeb said, truculently.

"That has nothing to do with George Brant. and you can't blame your uncle's... preferences on Barnabas. Or Julia, for that matter."

"If she had married Uncle Dave, he would not have turned to boys."

It took a great effort for Kenneth not to laugh at this.

"Your uncle could have married anyone else. He didn't because he was too considerate to inflict on any woman the burden of shielding him."

"He was not what you say!"

"And I suspect that George Brant was not the only boy in your uncle's life."

"He didn't It was a lie. A filthy lie! Barnabas dreamed up that list! None of it was true!"

"You know better, Zeb."

"If Barnabas had no qualms about murder, why should he have about lying about this?

"Don't lie to yourself, Zeb."

"Uncle Dave was no pervert!" he poured himself another glass "I'll never believe that he was one."

* * *

"You said you recognized this man?"

"I did." Derek's face darkened. "He's a killer. I can tell you what his reputation is."

George's eyes became flinty. "No possibility of a mistake?"

"None. He's not somebody that you forget easily."

"He's from the Mob, I take it."

"Yes."

There was no mistaking the terror in Derek's eyes. Officially Elmer Urrey was dead. He had been given a new face and a new identity. Nothing connected him with the fugitive that had appeared in Collinsport two years ago. Still, it was not absolutely foolproof. And if the Mob came to Collinsport for any reason...

* * *

"Willie..."

Willie rushed to Louella's side. :"Is this it?"

"No, Willie" Louella managed to keep her calm. Not yet.

"Are you sure?"

"I am not due for at least two, three weeks."

"But it might happen earlier."

"Willie" she sounded irritated "I am not going into labor, yet."

Willie did not look too convinced. "So why did you call me?"

"To tell you to stop pacing like that. It is getting on my nerves."

* * *

Iris shrugged good-humouredly as she approached Barnabas who was waiting to pay for books a the bookstore. He looked a bit worried, she thought.

"So how are you doing?" she asked him.

"Quite well. Julia tells me that I have mostly recovered, so you don't have to worry that I will do anything terrible."

"I am glad to hear that. It is true that she kept you hands tied all the time?"

Barnabas shook his head. Same old Iris. Somewhat blunt, somewhat tactless, always straightforward and impulsive. "Only when I wanted out of the coffin. But they made me as comfortable as possible. Enough about me. How is Violet doing?"

Iris grimaced. "I wish she straightened her head. She and her bratty kid. Someone should spank him good. It would not be child abuse, believe me. He needs it done."

"Is she still uneasy about me?"

"Oh, that." Iris looked embarrassed "I should not have tried to charge you with attempted rape. But Violet had a bad reaction and I got angry at you for causing it."

"I guess he never recovered from my attack on her years ago."

"She just used it as an excuse for all the bad choices she made since then."

Before Barnabas could answer the cashier intervened. "Do you want to pay for the books or would your rather have your conversation?"

"All right. I'll pay." Barnabas said placatingly "There is no need for you to get ruffled."

"I've been on my feet all day. I want to go home and soak them."

Barnabas decided not to irritate her further. He paid for his books and left with Iris in tow.

"Do you have the time, now?" she asked. "I'd like to talk to you."

"We could sit at the cafe. You'll have to order to keep the management happy with me taking a table. "

"No problem. I am hungry anyway."

She might want to resume their relationship, in which case a public place would keep her from getting too ugly when he told her it was not possible...

"Won't Violet worry if you are late?" He asked as they sat down.

"Oh, she knows better than that. I think that she prefers me to be not around her.."

She ordered coffee. She could not keep from mentioning that it was better that what he brewed. But then, anything was better than what he brewed... He was infamous for his coffee.

"Heard anything about Oriana?" Iris asked, much too causally.

"She's chasing another story. She might come back one day."

"Would you consider her again if she showed up?"

He shook his head. "No. I need more than what she can offer."

"She left you rather quickly for another story, didn't she?"" this time her voice sounded vaguely triumphant.

"Yes. But the danger was over and Willie was recovering. I still needed emotional support, but not to the point that she had to stay holding my hand," Barnabas shrugged "I would have liked it if she had, but she had no obligation to do so. She had done more than enough already."

Yet he had been hurt by the casual way in which she had left. For one wild moment he had thought of attacking her and forcing her to stay. But just for one moment.

"But you wanted more than what she could give you."

"Yes." he gulped. "And... and I want more than what you can give me, too."

Her eyes became hard "Not enough?" she said with hurt. "what I gave you is not enough?"

"Iris. I don't know how to say this. I have found someone else. Someone who gives me what you never could Someone who can love me without reservations."

"You are in love again?"

"Yes. It has been years since I have felt this way. Not like it was with you. Iris, I don't want to hurt you, but you never offered me more than a casual relationship, while this..."

"While this is more like it was with Josette."

"Yes."

"Who is she?"

Barnabas hesitated, remembering Megan's warning. "I cannot tell you that."

"She wants to keep it secret?"

"Yes. For a while... she...wants it that way."

Iris shook her head. "All right, if it is love, it is love." But if she loves you as much as you say, she'd not care that people knew of it.,"


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 6

George held him in his arms, naked body against naked body.

"Disgusting" Joshua said behind them. "You are no longer my son."

Barnabas did not turn. He did not care anymore for what his father said. Would never care again.

But then it was Josette "You forgot me for him?" she asked plaintively. "How could you?"

This time Barnabas turned, somewhat guiltily "I never forgot you. But we set each other free. I love him now."

Josette looked at George with raw hatred "What have you done to him? What have you turned him into?"

"He has done nothing but love me."

"I would not have minded a woman. But not this."

"Pervert. Pervert."

The voices kept coming. Jason McGuire, Carl Collins, Schuyller Rumsen, Reverend Trask. He tried not to notice as George held him closer.

"You have no more claim on him." George spoke calmly "Be gone."

Then it was laughter. Ruby's laughter.

"A cop. A dumb cop."

"Don't listen to them." George said. "don't even look. They have no power over you."

Then it was Naomi, wringing her hands.

"My son." she said, in the same tone of voice she had used with him after she had drunk the poisoned wine. "My own son."

"Your son is a fine man, Mrs. Collins. Be proud of him."

Naomi stood there, still wringing her hands, And Sarah was now with her.

"What are you doing, Barnabas? What is this man doing to you?

Barnabas felt his face flush. "It is all right, Sarah." he said lamely.

Then it was Jeremiah, his eyes shadowed with jealousy. Then Priscilla. Then Abigail. They stared at him with cold, accusing eyes.

And behind them, Ruby's laughter.

He woke up. The sun had just set.

A dream. Only a dream. But of such clarity and vividness as he had not experienced for quite a while.

Maybe it was more than a dream.

He knew what laid behind it. He was enough of a practicing psychologist to understand why he would have this kind of dream. No none in his family could understand why he did what he did, and he felt guilty about it, about somehow letting them down.

Yet he could live with it. His father had been wrong about so many things before... Sarah and his mother... that was harder. Still it could not be worse than his curse.

He would have to live with it. With the knowledge that his mother and sister would be terribly hurt if they even knew what had happened to him.

But Sarah was no longer a ghost watching him and stopping him when he threatened to do wrong. There was no need for her to guard him now.

Sarah was Elsa now. Naomi had probably been reborn, too. And Josette had asked him to set her free, as she set him free...

Still, the vividness of the dream...

It was his subconscious, trying to tell him something. Like that he was not wholly free of misgivings about his going to bed with George. Having sex with men was something that was not done. And his doing it went against all that he had ever been taught. All that he had ever believed.

Yet he would not give up George for it. He could deal with guilt... He was, after all, he thought wryly, an old hand at dealing with guilt.

Then he heard the laughter again. And he saw Ruby Tate.

"You and the cop!" Ruby said "that's really disgusting. Have you no shame?'

He studied her. "Did you cause me to have that dream?"

"What if I did? It is sickening what you two do."

"It is love, Ruby."

"Love!" Ruby spat out the world "Love!"

He understood. "You haven't had much love yourself, have you?"

"Love! I can tell you about love. An animal grabs you, uses you, and calls it love. Then you get pregnant and get thrown out into the street so that others can have their... love."

"What happened to your child?"

"It died. It was best for her. She was better off dead."

Something in her voice made Barnabas ask "Did you kill her?"

"She was better off dead! You think that I'd let her grow up to end up like me? I couldn't feed her properly. She cried all the time. No one ever suspected. Who cared if the little bastard lived or died? They died all the time, what with not enough food, and no money for medicines. ...she was hungry. I had no more milk. So I did it."

"What was her name?"

Ruby only shrugged.

Barnabas wondered what to say next. he felt an uncontrollable desire to beg her forgiveness for it, to beg the child's forgiveness.

It had not been his doing. He had not been the one who had impregnated and abandoned her. He was more responsible than that...

No, not always...

"I am sorry, Ruby."

"What for? It happened long before you met me at the wharf."

"You should not have been treated like that."

"You say I should have been treated like a 'lady'?:" Her tone said what she thought of 'ladies'.

"You should have been treated like a human being. I am sorry, Ruby. Truly sorry."

* * *

"I wish that I could do something about Peter." Violet confided to Delia "He...he treats me like dirt. I am his mother and he treats me like dirt."

"Seems he never had a good spanking" Delia commented.

"I...I never hit him. Larry did not want me to hit him. Said that he would not have his son hit by a woman."

"Did Larry hit you?"

Violet nodded. "Yes. When he thought I needed it."

Delia smiled imperceptibly. "Would you have liked to hit him?"

Violet was silent for a moment, then her eyes gleamed. "Yes. I would have loved that."

"But he's dead and you can't hit him."

"No. But maybe I can hit his son. His precious son."

* * *

"Edmund, you have to finish your math exercises" Yolanda said firmly "You have played long enough."

"I don't want to!" Edmund protested.

"Come, Edmund. You know you have to." Yolanda insisted.

"I don't want to! Uncle Roger! She's being mean to me again!"

Yolanda found Roger blocking her way. "I don't think that it is a big thing to let him finish what he is doing."

"Mr. Collins." Yolanda said icily "Class starts now, not when it suits Edmund. he must learn punctuality."

"What's the harm?"

"I have my methods, Mr. Collins. That's why Mrs. Collins hired me. If you have complaints, tell them to her."

* * *

"Well, Rafe." George asked his deputy "do you have that FBI report about drug smuggling?"

"Yes, it is here, Chief."

George took it and read it. It had to be that. Smuggling. Why else would the Mob show up here? Probably drugs. Heroine or cocaine. Not the usual route, sure. Still, with so many fishermen coming in and out... During Prohibition they had brought booze from Canada, hadn't they?"

Still, Collinsport was not the kind of town where you expected the Mob to show up. But evidently they had. Derek had recognized the man, and that man had been around fishermen...

With luck they had caught it early enough. And he knew that the credit for it belonged to Derek. Himself, he had originally dismissed the FBI report, considering it highly unlikely that such a thing was happening in his little corner of the world. Or maybe he was too busy being in love to pay attention to anything else.

He stopped before he started blaming himself for it. He had been almost caught off guard, and that was all that there was to it.

"You think it is for real?" Rafe asked.

"Very likely. Rafe, no a word of this to anyone, you understand, not unless your clear it with me first. I don't want leaks."

"Got it, chief."

Rafe left, and George began daydreaming. Maybe he could collar them and deliver them all wrapped up to the FBI. This time they would not be able to hog the limelight. He'd show those bastards what stuff a backwoods' sheriff was made of.

Sure, it was a daydream. But hadn't Barnabas been a daydream too?

He certainly wished that Barnabas was not so passive in bed. But then he probably needed time... It was all going better than expected, so why be impatient about it?

He took out his gun and checked it. If he was right about this, he was going to need it.

* * *

Barnabas caught the cat and stroked it. He liked to hold them as they purred and kneaded his lap. He wondered how they accepted his coldness. Cats like warmth, yet these ones couldn't care less that he had no warmth to give off.

Then he felt Ruby trying to get control of him.

"I want to hold the cat myself."

He allowed her, so that she could enjoy the pleasure of stroking a cat.

"I hate cats!" Ruby shouted though his mouth "Ugly, treacherous things!"

He felt his hands grab the cat and hurt it far away.

"Scat! Go! Get out!"

The cat ran away, mewling in surprise. He fought to regain control.

"Why did you do that?" he asked her.

"I never liked cats."

He knew what was the matter. Life had been hard for Ruby, and that had made her hard and cruel herself."

"It had done you no harm."

"So?"

She had been victimized. Her life had been cut off brutally. But he could not have any illusions. Life as a streetwalker had hardened her, robbed her of the chance to learn about kindness. Nobody had been kind to Ruby Tate, and she did not expect anybody to do so.

Maybe he owed her for that, too. Maybe there was a way that he could pay her back for it.

"You know what I want? I want to be in control when you make it with the cop."

The cat mewled then. He looked at the cat... Ruby had done that to a creature that had done her no harm and could bring her pleasure if she allowed it... What could she do to George, if he allowed it?

"You have no right to ask that of me, Ruby."


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter 7

Kenneth looked somewhat shaken. Thoughtful with a certain wistfulness that he had not seen in him before.

When had he seen him last? It was that time when Kenneth had tried to get him to resign from Wyncliffe.

"It is good to see you again." he said without irony.

Kenneth nodded, not yet in agreement with that.

"I have been thinking lately. About me and Julia. About you and the trouble."

The trouble. He had never known Kenneth to use euphemisms before.

"And what have you decided to do about it?" Barnabas knew that he should not sound so condemnatory, but could not help it. Kenneth had hurt Julia. He was willing to take abuse himself if it was required. But no one could hurt Julia and expect him to sit passively and look on.

Kenneth did not react to the condemnation in Barnabas' voice. He knew that Barnabas had a point. And he wanted to unload himself.

"I have talked to Zeb." he said simply. "He told me certain things that...that I was not aware of."

"Like?"

"What is it what he cannot forgive you."

"I thought that it was obvious." Barnabas said with irony.

"And what he cannot forgive Julia for. According to him, if Julia had married Zeb's uncle, he would have never gone after boys."

"Boys?"

"Don't play dumb. I know why he hates George Brant, and what methods you used to keep Zeb quiet."

"How much did he tell you?"

"That Brant had once been Woodard's boy. That he was not the only one. He told me all about it. He was quite drunk at the time, you see."

"Anyone else heard the same tale?" Barnabas felt sick. "Do you realize what it could mean for George if it became known?"

"It is George Brant that you worry about?" Kenneth could not hide his surprise. Not you or Julia?"

"Zeb has enough sense to let the other business rest. I already explained why Maggie wants to keep it under wraps and how far she'd go to keep it that way. But Maggie has no reason nor desire to protect George."

"Still, if it was only one episode in Brant's life, he could depict himself as a young boy, the victim of the advances of a pervert."

"What did you say?" Barnabas bristled.

"Well, I got thinking that I was too hard on Julia."

"You don't mind it so much now?"

"I think that I understand the circumstances."

Anger mounted in Barnabas, and he exploded. "You mean that you don't care so much that it was murder, since the victim was only a fag?"

"I didn't mean that."

"You didn't? Are you sure? Who cares if one of those gets killed? The less of them around the better, is that it? Next thing you'll be handing us medals for it."

"Well," Kenneth said sullenly "I understand that he went after underage boys."

"He was a decent man. A good man. If you want to make us feel better by telling us that you do not approve of his private life, you are wasting your time. I will not accept a clean conscience on these terms. I don't want your... your kind of absolution. And I hope neither does Julia Now get out of here, and never come back!"

Kenneth left, and Barnabas stood in the middle of the room, a senses of unease filling him. He had not expected Kenneth to react like that. He thought him above such behavior. But evidently he was not.

A mirthless laugh came to his lips. Homosexuality was less popular than vampirism, it seemed. And now he had both.

* * *

"Uncle Roger, be reasonable." Carolyn pleaded. "Edmund HAS to study. he can't play all day."

"I still think that she's the wrong teacher for him. he's scared of her. And she does not like children."

Inwardly Carolyn begged for more patience to deal with her uncle. If she'd let him he'd spoil Edmund rotten. She had hired Ms. Oates because she could teach Edmund the discipline he so sorely needed.

"You have to be patient. Let her stay for a while and we'll see how she works out."

Roger grumbled a bit, but in the end gave up"

"But if he hurts Edmund, out she goes."

* * *

"I want that cop." Ruby said coldly. "And you'll get him for me."

"I won't."

"I am going to get that dumb cop."

"George isn't dumb."

"All cops are dumb. And mean. And they are on the take, too."

Barnabas shook his head. Her anger was a physical presence that he could not escape. And it was not directed specifically at him.

Again it struck him how little it mattered to her that final episode when a prospective customer had pushed her into the water after drinking her blood.

"You have no choice. You will give me the cop."

Barnabas shook his head, and sought to deny her control.

But she had already taken it.

She was now controlling his body, waiting for George Brant to come.

* * *

Violet's eyes were misty as Delia showed her her whip collection and the chains and other restraining devices that she used.

"All of these are yours?"

"Yes. It is difficult to get them in a small town but still I manage."

Violet too out a whip. She would love to use this on Peter, teach him manners.

Delia's nostrils flared. Violet held the whip the right way. Soon she would want to use it.

* * *

George put down the report and locked it.; He had worked long enough. He would not solve the smuggling case any faster because he stayed in his office much later. And Barnabas was waiting for him...

He seemed strange, somewhat worried when he saw him.

"I am sorry to be late. I got caught in this smuggling case."

"What are they smuggling?"

"Drugs, very likely. The same way they used to bring in booze during Prohibition."

"Do you want me to do anything about it?"

"You can help by forgetting that I said it. Apart from that, unless I specifically ask for help, stay out of it. I don't think that you have the knowledge to deal with this kind of trouble...And when civilians like you barge in this kind of investigation people die."

Barnabas spread his hands "All right. I'll keep out of it. And forget anything you told me about it."

They undressed. Barnabas wondered if there was any way to let George know what had happened to him, about the stranger inhabiting his body and controlling his movements and words. He wondered what George would say later, when he found out.

"Are you all right?" George asked.

"Yes. It is just that I have not gotten rid of my hang-ups yet." he heard himself say.

They laid together. He was aware of George's body of his... of how little he could do to change what would happen now.

George's lips touched his on the cheek as he got ready to pounce. He shivered, then moved..

He caught George, threw himself over him and kissed him violently.

George was startled by Barnabas' reaction but not displeased. It was about time Barnabas stopped being so passive in bed...

Barnabas tried to restrain Rub, to regain control of his body, but she was the stronger. All her life men had used her, taken her as often as they wished, as brutally as they wished. Now it was her turn. She would take a man, a cop at that. She delighted that Barnabas' body gave her the means for it.

She fell on Brant mercilessly, while Barnabas watched trying to hold her back.

George screamed once, then he remembered Barnabas' inexperience and decided to ride with it. He knew how to keep from being hurt. Later he would tell Barnabas how to do it right. At least Barnabas was capable of passionate lovemaking...

Ruby was angry. That dumb cop didn't even know that he had been raped! She had wanted him to hurt, the way she had been so often hurt in the past. The way those cops had once abused her...

And as her anger and bewilderment grew, her control slipped, and Barnabas regained his body again.

"Did I hurt you?" he asked George.

"You'll learn to do it right."

"George... I..." how could he explain to George that he had just been raped by a dockside hooker?


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter 8

"Ruby" Barnabas said "I will not do that anymore"

"What will you not do?"

"Allow you to control me so that you can hurt others."

"That dumb cop did not even know he had been raped. He thought you were clumsy."

"Did a cop rape you?"

"Yes Three of them. And they got away with it. Said it would be my word against theirs, and that no one would believe a whore."

"George was not one of them"

"What does it matter? He is still a cop."

"He's the man I love."

Ruby's laughter reminded him of how little she knew of love. How little of it she had received, how little reason she had to trust it.

"I will not lie down with George again if that's what it takes to keep you away from him."

"And you will do without? "

It was Priscilla all over again. The same need to hurt and humiliate. The same sense of grievance.

Priscilla had a real grievance. So did Ruby. But it had not been his pain and humiliation that had set Priscilla free. The kind of revenge that Ruby wanted, even if obtained ten times over, would not give her peace.

"Did you ever care for anyone, Ruby?"

"Several men." Ruby said coldly "and all of them used me."

"I don't mean care that way. Did you ever care for somebody not because you had sex with them, but because they were human beings?"

"There you go again. The speeches you used to make. Nice speeches. The rich can always make nice speeches. They can afford to."

"Would you like to know how it feels like? To be able to afford this... luxury?"

"You want to lecture me about charity again?"

"I promised to teach you about those things you missed. This is one of them."

":There is no such thing as charity. There is no pity anywhere in the world."

"If that is true, why did you tell George where to find me? What did you stand to gain?"

"I gained, didn't I? Look at what you gave me already."

"But you didn't know that I would give it to you."

"You would. You are an easy mark. You actually believe your own speeches."

"They are not speeches. They are true."

"There is nothing there."

"I can show you how it feels like."

Ruby scowled. "Do you think that you can teach me something that does not even exist?"

"Yes. But it has to be done my way. I will remain in control. I will keep you from hurting anyone else."

"It is so touching, your concern about innocent people being hurt. Where you always this way?"

"Not always. But I learned my lesson. And it is about time you learned, too."

* * *

"So you and Willie are back to normal now?"

Louella agreed "Depends on what you call normal" she told Barnabas. "He certainly worries a lot. I can't have a headache that he thinks that I am going into labor."

"First time father." Barnabas commiserated. "All I can tell you is to be patient. It will go away when the baby comes."

"He's still fussing over me."

"And you don't like it?"

"Not all the time. I mean, a little bit is nice, but..."

"I know what you mean. I got everybody fussing over me not too long ago."

"I know. But you needed being taken care of."

"Yes. I needed it. I had begun to lose contact with reality in... in there. Julia handled it well."

Willie showed up. Louella had not exaggerated. Willie _was_ a collection of tics. Rubbing his face, biting his nails, pulling at his hair. It was distracting to watch this.

"Will you try to calm down?" Barnabas asked, without any hope that he would.

"I am all right." Willie insisted.

"You are not. I get dizzy just by watching you."

Willie shifted his weight from one leg to the other. "Well, after all, it is my first child." he said lamely.

"I know it is."

"You don't know how that feels." Willie protested. "you never had any children."

He had had children, in a way. But he had never cared about them. Priscilla's pregnancy had been a convenience at best. And the others, he had cared even less.

Yes, Willie was right about that.

"I know how important this child is to you, Willie." he said softly. "I envy you for it."

"But?" Willie knew that he was not going to get out of a lecture. When Barnabas had that look in his eyes, you were in for it. "what am I dong wrong?"

"You are trying too hard. You are putting pressure on Louella again."

"As I did when Laura..."

"I don't want you to be alarmed. But yes, it is the same thing."

"Are you saying that Laura might come back?"

"Not a chance."

"But she could, couldn't she? Tell me the truth." Willie was almost hysterical. "She could come back for our baby?"

Barnabas had to shake him to calm him down. "No, she's not. I made sure of that. For God's sake, calm down and listen."

"He is right, honey." Louella said. "The danger is over. But you ARE annoying. "

"But I worry, honey. I can't help it. I want you to be all right. I want the baby to be all right."

Louella's smile widened. Barnabas realized that in spite of her griping it would not be at all like the last time. He was no more vulnerable. He baby was a child, a person, not just a growth inside her.

"Have you chosen any names?"

"William" Willie said quickly "Or Louis. Or Wilhelmina, or Louisa. Sometimes, she wants to call her Pearl. If it is a girl, of course."

"Those are nice names. Still..."

"You want to call him Jeremiah, if it is a boy. Or Josette, if it is a girl."

"Well..."

"No, Barnabas." Willie's voice was firm. "If I call the kid that, you may end up believing that he or she is indeed the person named him for. That's too big a burden to put on a kid. Don't protest, Barnabas. You know that I am right on that one."

"I wouldn't..."

"You are my best friend. But this is my child. Maybe I will not be the best father in the world. But I am certainly going to try. And I will protect my child."

"We both know you will." Louella said placatingly.

"I will make you proud of me, baby. you'll see.:

Barnabas nodded. "Fair enough. I do get wearisome sometimes, don't I?' No, it is better if you name your kid your way. But, you see, I have never been an uncle."

Louella tried to get up, but found it difficult because of her bulk. Willie rushed to her side, but Barnabas reached her first.

"May I have the honor?" he asked, formally, while extending his hand.

Louella giggled, extending a languid hand. "You make me feel like a queen." she said, lifting herself painfully "Thank you."

They talked a bit more. Then Barnabas said what he had come for. "I am going back to Wyncliffe. I have work to do there and I'll probably stay a while. I wanted to see you before I went."

"We'll miss you. But we know how to get you if... if you should be back in a hurry."

He had, indeed, to go to Wyncliffe. It was the only place where he could keep Ruby away from George. And where he could teach her that those speeches he made were more than that."

He left Willie and Louella, envying their domestic bliss and the problems that they thought were so serious.

* * *

Sometimes he wondered where Ruby got the contemporary expressions that she used. Probably by riffling his mind. She certainly chose the ones that would hurt him the most.

But they were losing their sting. Specially now that she realized how much of her fury was envy.

He had to make her understand. He was locked in a game with a resentful ghost, not very sure what the game was about, nor how it should be played.

Dave had taught him that worse than a vengeful ghost is a pimping one. Now he was finding that a resentful whore was not the ideal house guest.

He had to win this fight, both for Ruby's sake and her own.

Control. He had to keep control of the situation. The cardinal rule was to never let the patient get control. Julia had broken that rule with him and Dave had died because of it. He had broken the same rule with Ruby, and George had been raped.

He was not surprised that he now thought of Ruby as of a patient.


	9. Chapter 9

Chapter 9

Kenneth cleared his throat.

Julia looked up at him. She did not react more. The sun was making her languid.

"Can I sit down? At your table, I mean."

"Yes, you can." Julia's smile wasn't wholly cordial but she felt little real hostility either.

"Are you all right?' Kenneth asked anxiously.

"Yes. No broken bones."

No sooner had she spoken it that she regretted it. It had not been Kenneth's fault that he had been possessed by Trask.

"I am sorry."

"Not your fault. Do I order you anything?"

Kenneth nodded "Ice cream" he said mournfully "Chocolate chip." he gulped. "Julia, I want to talk to you. About us."

Julia studied him. "You still think that we might have a future together?"

"I hope there is."

Julia smiled sadly "Do you really want me back, or is this something that you feel you _have_ to do? Do you come out of a sense of duty?"

"It isn't duty."

"Kenneth, let me tell you something about me and Barnabas. For many years I wanted him to love me, so that I could reject him. I wanted to spit on his face... That was because of my guilt. Kenneth... guilt makes a bad counselor. You can't make decisions based on it."

"What about you? Do you want me back?"

She smiled imperceptibly "If it is me that you really want. If you honestly think that we can make a go of it. If you can live with what you know of me, then I want you back."

Kenneth frowned "You put high standards. Yet it was you who shut me out of... of your problems. Barnabas kept me at arm's length telling me that it was a nervous breakdown and I should not interfere."

"He was very protective of me. I guess he felt he owed me that much."

"It made me jealous." Kenneth admitted "I knew that I had no reason to, but that made it worse."

"We wouldn't have to worry about that anymore. I have no more hideous secrets in my past."

Kenneth pondered it. "I guess we will have to take it one day at a time. Not ask much of each other at first."

* * *

He was surprised to see so many new faces and so many of the old ones gone. He should not, he reminded himself. He had been away for too long. Julia could release and admit patients on her own.

But it disturbed him a bit to see that some of the ones that Julia had released were those he considered "his" cases. He was glad for them, but it still felt like rejection.

He was aware of Ruby's snickering behind him. For her the insane were objects of either fear or laughter. Life had not prepared her for any other response.

"They can be helped." he said softly to her "I have helped several of them.."

"Nuts." Ruby said, tittering. "Is that what you like?"

"They are human beings that need help." he smoothed the brow of a woman who slept. heavily sedated. He did not know her. He would have to ask Julia for her name and case history...

Ruby's eyes were on fire. "You actually believe it! How can you be so stupid?"

"I am not, Ruby."

"What are you planning?"

"Please let me teach you this, Ruby. Give it a try."

"Not with the crazies here!"

"They area people who can, and should be helped."

"You are an idiot!"

"Probably, but there are idiots and idiots. And there are very worthwhile ways of being an idiot. Maybe you'll be able to understand it."

"Nuts. Crazies... That is not what I want."

"This is what you need."

He had to be firm with her. They were starting their relationship anew and he would not let her blackmail him emotionally through guilt.

It was easy, giving way to guilt. Something in him needed to be punished. Simple forgiveness was not enough for him. George had rightly grumbled about his martyr complex, to the point of making himself an easy prey for Trask and his accomplices.

That beating that Zeb had administered to him, for instance... He had never felt more at peace than when he lay on the ground, blindfolded, and Zeb was hitting him.

But the beating had stopped too soon. And then Dave was gone... He would never see him again on this Earth.

And he held the strange belief that another beating would fix things.

Well, he had to get over it, if he wanted to help Ruby.

It was difficult to act as if Ruby wasn't there, but he managed it. He went on his normal rounds, trying to act as if Ruby was not there, and he was not trying to impress her.

Ruby was another of his patients. Nor more, no less. He had to make it so, no matter how tempted he was to give in to his own urges. She could abuse him. Her shots might tell, and he could be hurt. But she would not ride him again.

He chatted with the nurse a bit more, getting her to tell him more about the patient and her own feelings on the case.

"You think that I am right, Mr. Collins?"

"It is too early for me to tell. But you seem to have a point."

The woman's smile was genuine. For too long her opinions had been shrugged off, even when she had been right. She had inured her to accept it. But now..."

"Mr. Collins."

"Anything wrong?"

"No. I just wanted to let you know that I appreciate the way you accept my opinion and respect it."

"I haven't accepted it yet."

"But you will if you think that I am right. I have had little of that before. I did not make a mistake coming to work here."

Ruby's bitter titter behind him made his blush deepen. It always embarrassed him to hear himself praised, and to have Ruby laughing on top of it confirmed the part of his mind that insisted that he was no good.

He reminded himself again to be patient with Ruby. Kindness had been an empty word for her for too long. Those who had shown her anything like it had not done it for free.

"No one does anything for anyone for nothing." What's the catch?" "What's it in for me?" "It is a dog eat dog world."

He had to show her that there was more than that. He had to undo the damage that the years had made on her.

He no longer felt guilty about her death. But he did for the way she had been forced to live. For the way he had treated women like her as if they had been put on Earth for his convenience and nothing else...

He waited. Ruby could not go on snickering forever.

* * *

"So Kenneth tried to get together with you?"

"Yes." Julia admitted quietly "I don't know what made him decide for it, but whatever it is, I don't think that I will be passing it up."

"You still love him, don't you?"

"Yes. I do. No, I don't blame you for it. I should have confided in him earlier."

"Julia" caution warred with bitterness. Bitterness won and he told her of his own interview with Kenneth and what was behind his softening up.

"Maybe you misinterpreted it."

"I hope so, for your sake. In a way, I can't blame him. I had the same reaction when I first found out about Dave and George.. Maybe that's why it hurt me so much to see it reflected in him."

"How are you and George doing?"

Barnabas lied. He could not tell, not even to her, what Ruby had forced on him. "All right. Still, it seems strange."

"You are not ashamed of it, are you?"

"No. Not anymore. I love him. I can't explain it how I can love a man the same way I loved Josette. Something in me insists that it should not happen. But it does.

"You looked happy from the start.," Julia could not keep from giggling. "that time that George took you away and you returned a couple of hours later with those curious expressions, as if you had one big secret between you two. Of course, I knew it. I helped decide George to go for it."

"You did?"

"Since I could not have you myself, I could at least turn you over to someone else. I am quite wicked, am I not?"

"I am sorry I could not have loved you."

"It was not your fault. At first, well, you were just hard to handle. And you needed mothering. A lot of it. When you got easier to live with, I had already become a mother figure for you. And that clinched it. It would have been incestuous for you to become attracted to me."

Barnabas nodded, acknowledging the truth of her words. Yes, she reminded him of Naomi. A more determined, effective Naomi. What Naomi could have been if Joshua had not broken her.

'I guess I was quite screwed up."

"Yes. That is not a term I normally use, but you were."

"Am I still?"

Julia laughed. "You are in a lot better shape than the rest of my patients."

"And there is not danger of my ever going back to the way I was?"

"You survived that thing that George pulled you out of. If that did not send you back, nothing will."

* * *

"I don't want to go there!" Peter said petulantly at Violet "and you can't make me go!"

Violet exchanged glances with Delia. "See what I have to put up with?" she seemed to say.

"You are coming, Peter." Delia said softly, grabbing Peter by the hair. "Don't argue."

"I don't want to go." Peter insisted. But this time his voice was weaker. This woman was different from his mother. She was like some of the teachers he had had. The ones that gave him trouble until his father did something about it.

But his father wasn't here, and Delia's grip on him grew stronger.

"You are coming with me if you know what's good for you."


	10. Chapter 10

Chapter 10

He could understand how Iris felt, George thought. Barnabas was at Wyncliffe again and so absorbed in his work that he barely remembered that Collinsport existed.

And, unlike Iris, he could not take the day off so easily. And, face it, Barnabas had been a long time away from Wyncliffe and had to make up for the lost time.

They would have to make arrangements. At least once or twice a week, find a good spot that allowed for privacy.

It made him grimace. The privacy of the arrangements. Barnabas never had that problem with Iris. It was a matter of public record that they slept together, so they did not have to bother to hide themselves.

If he did not have to be reelected to this job, he might well go public about it. But he dared not risk telling the voters how he spent his off-duty time.

You could be a cop and be gay at the same time. But you could not run for county sheriff and be gay;. Not in this part of the country, at least.

He wondered how long it would take for the secrecy to get to Barnabas. He had suffered from secrecy long enough, until Carolyn, wanting to destroy him, had set him free instead. Could he return to it, even for love?

He thought back at their last meeting. He had been glad at first when Barnabas had decided all of a sudden to be more active in bed. He had wanted that from the first. Sure, he wished that Barnabas had been less clumsy about it...

...But he had been clumsy too, the first time he had taken the initiative. Dave had been patient with him, and had talked sense into it later on. He had to do that with Barnabas now.

* * *

Peter was whimpering. Blindfolded, suspended from his wrists, he waited for Delia to move, to say anything.

"You see, kid." Delia was speaking slowly, lingering with delight at each word. "Your parents spoiled you rotten, and now someone has to teach you how to behave. So I am going to do it, kid."

She swung the whip, but did not bring it down yet. She must remember that Peter was a child and could be seriously hurt. And no marks, either. Noting that would bring the child welfare agency knocking on her door.

So there was not much hitting that she could do. And preferably on the legs and arms, places that an active child could hurt himself ;playing.

And anyway, the whip was too good to waste on the brat.

She cracked the whip by Peter's feet, making the end of it coil around the ankles. Peter gasped, more in surprise than in pain.

"Nobody taught you how to talk to your mother, it seems. You must respect your mother, boy. You must respect your mother at all times.

The lash fell over the boy's tight and he screamed.

"Good" Delia said, approvingly "you are learning, kid."

Violent watched, moistening her lips. She had always wanted to so something like this. And not only to Peter.

Delia hit Peter on the tight. He screamed before the whip touched him and Delia smiled. Fear was such a useful emotion.

"More!" Violet shouted "More!"

Delia shook her head. "That's enough" she said firmly "you mark him too obviously and someone will call the cops."

"The cops did nothing when his father beat me up."

"Well, this is a different town. Both Sheriff Brant and Barnabas Collins take a dim view of such going-ons.

Violet looked down, disappointed.

Delia studied her. Violet was the one that she really wanted. Peter was important only in that he helped bind Violet to her.

Violet would make a good disciple. An accomplice. A lover.

She was not surprised to realize that she wanted Violet that way. She was not homosexual, but she was not heterosexual, either. Her love were the whips, and whoever would submit to them, male or female.

There was blood on the whip. The last blow had torn off a piece of skin. The whip now laid on the floor like a black snake, looking strangely alive. The red stain on it glowed like an eye.

Violet approached the whip, staring at the blood. She went down on her knees and lifted the braided leather tenderly in her hands.

She brought it to her lips and kissed it, the leather coiling slightly around her wrists

* * *

"Manic depressive" Julia's cold clinical voice did not fully mask her concern. She did care for her patients, maybe too much, and thus forced herself into the cool, aloof mask to keep the caring from hurting her to the point of uselessness.

Barnabas understood this. The Iron Lady was not so for lack of feeling, but for the excess of it.

"And the prognosis?" he asked, trying to imitate her detachment.

"Good. With proper treatment she will improve."

"What kind of treatment?"

Julia looked at him. "You want her?"

"I have plenty of time to give her. Most of my other patients are gone."

"Yes, they are," Julia acknowledged.

"So there is no reason for me not to."

Julia looked a bit skeptical. "I wonder if you are ready for the emotional demands she may make on you."

He smiled "Julia, I am not an invalid. You don't have to keep my hands tied anymore. I am well enough again and can take care of myself."

Julia decided that it was better not to say anything about Barnabas ever being able to take care of himself.

"Anyone else, I'd say yes, you have recovered. But not her. You have no idea of the emotional demands he could make on you. She could tear you up inside."

"I have had worse than that and survived. And I need something to do."

"You can help me update the records and check on personnel schedules, and figure out security procedures and... and a thousand other things that need doing around here."

"You are giving me a desk job, because you don't think I can do a therapists' job."

"Why is she important to you?"

"Why is it that important to you that I don't handle her?"

"I prefer that you took on a light workload for a while. I don't want you to have a relapse."

"I never felt better."

"In my opinion you are not ready."

"In my opinion, I am."

Barnabas could hear Ruby snickering behind him. He could not help being embarrassed. The spectacle of him and Julia bickering must be amusing to her.

He could not understand half of what she saw as amusing. Probably never could.

Julia saw his expression change, his mood become introspective. Something ran an alarm in her. Something warned her that Barnabas _should_ have this patient.

"It is important to you to have her?"

"It is."

"All right, then. She is yours."

* * *

Willie sat bolt upright on the bed.

"Lou?"

Louella opened sleep-befogged eyes. "No, Willie. I am _not_ having contractions. Go back to sleep."

"Are you sure?"

"I am sure, you big baby. Don't worry so much. Remember what Barnabas told you."

"He should talk It is not him having a baby."

"It is not you, either. Go back to sleep."

* * *

It was late afternoon when Kenneth came into Julia's office.

"Julia, why didn't you call as promised?"

"I found out something. Why didn't you tell me that you had seen Barnabas?"

"Well, yes, I talked to him."

"I got his version. I would like to hear yours."

He explained to her his meeting with Zeb and the one with Barnabas.

"I got lectured by him. I think that he misunderstood me. I did not want to imply in any way that... that Woodard deserved to be killed."

"What were you trying to say?"

"I was shaken by what Zeb was doing. And by the fact that he expected me to agree with him. He could not accept human failings in his boyhood hero, so everybody had to pay for it. So I got to thinking that I had done the same thing with you. Sure, I told myself that it was more serious than that. But it sounded hollow. I cared little that it was murder. I cared that it involved my wife. I could not accept that in you no more than Zeb could accept the fact that George Brant was only an underage boy and, if there was a victim in the relationship, it was him."

"And Barnabas got it backwards?"

"I gave him the wrong impression, yes."

Julia chuckled. "I guess that he's rather sensitive about it. Since it is now him and George Brant."

Kenneth's eyes popped open. "You mean that... that Barnabas...?"

"Yes. Barnabas and George Brant. A new couple. Like Frank Torrance and Buffy Harrington. Like Angelique and Sebastian Shaw."

"Him?"

Julia chuckled. "Dave always had a peculiar sense of humor and little objection to a bit of pimping now and then. So he set up Barnabas to end up in George's bed. And Barnabas is now in love."

"Well... I'll be... Who'd have thought it? The sheriff, no less."

"Kenneth, don't repeat this."

"I won't... Julia have you considered it?"

"Yes."

"And your answer?"

"A tentative yes."

* * *

Se was coming off sedation. He wondered how she would react. Manic depressive. Swinging from one extreme to the other with nothing in between...

Oversimplification that that might be, there was much truth in it. At least he had some idea of how to handle her. He looked at her again. Ruby snickered. As she did ever since he had come here. He gulped. It would be hard, handling two patients at once, one of them without Julia's knowledge.

"You look so cute, standing over her." Ruby said.

He did not react. When he was dealing with a patient, he should not react to her. Later he would go over it with her...

He was now where he wanted to be. He was back at Wyncliffe, doing work that he love, being useful.. and using his bite to heal not hurt..

He wondered how Willie was doing, if he could manage on his own. Nonsense, Willie could manage nicely. So did Louella. he was needed here.

He wondered about Phillip, how he was doing with his show business career. Last letter he had, he seemed to be doing all right. But that was a while ago.

Then he wondered about George. If he ever suspected what had actually happened that last time... how would he react when he found out?

Well, he'd deal with it later. He had a patient to attend to. He bent over her throat, ready to receive the impressions of her mind.


	11. Chapter 11

Chapter 11

Ruby watched, her eyes shadowed with an anger that was difficult to place or understand.

Barnabas did not try to. He was not even aware of it. All his attention was concentrated on the newly arrived man, who was rocking himself as he spoke dreamily.

No one could get a response out of him, so Julia had called him to try to break through his shell.

He barely spoke, but at least he could follow them with their eyes.

The man had withdrawn into himself after he had understood that the car accident, where he had been driving, had killed both his wife and daughter. One moment's carelessness, and his entire family had died.

"What is your name?" Barnabas asked him again.

The man shook his head, his face closing . He refused to remember his name.

Because remembering his name meant an identity, a past. A family that he had lost. A family that he had destroyed.

Ruby watched as Barnabas spoke soothingly to the man "It is all right if you don't remember now. You don't have to."

The man's smile returned, and he continued to rock himself. Barnabas waited until he was calmer and then bent over his throat, creating the link that would allow him later to guide him back to reality.

Would he thank him for retuning him to such pain? He did not know...

Ruby watched, amused. But also disturbed. They way Barnabas looked at the man... it was so much now the way that Barnabas looked at her.

Barnabas sighed. It would take time to get this man back to his feet. He had somehow regressed to his childhood. Had to check on notes of similar patients...

He wondered if there were notes of a similar case years back. The Maggie Evans case...

No, those notes did not exist anymore. Megan had been very thorough erasing all traces of Maggie's stay at a mental institution. Maggie did not want _anyone_ to know that she had been an inmate there, Had to remind himself of that. He remembered too much, made an offhand comment that could be overhead, and Representative Evans, hopefully future Senator Evans, would have his staked through the heart.

He envied her that determination to erase her past, or at least the inconvenient parts of it. He could not do it. The past kept dogging him. Witness Ruby staring at him... worse, remember what she had done to George...

Could he ever explain to George what had happened? How he had fallen into a trap? Would George be mad at him.?

Could Ruby read her mind? Because, he realized , if she did, she had found out another way to hurt him and George...

* * *

George stood by Barnabas' coffin, his fingers tracing the face that he loved so much.

It was not what many would call a pretty face. A handsome one, maybe, with character in it - strong lines that defined a personality that was like no one else's.

Soon he would wake up and they would talk. He knew what he would say, and what he and Barnabas had to discuss.

But it was too early for that. It was not yet dusk. Still, Julia had allowed him to wait for him.

Because he suspected what had bothered Barnabas. And he needed to be told that being too clumsy and rough was not a hanging offense...

He missed Barnabas. Missed him physically and emotionally. Even since he and Barnabas had become loves, other men had ceased to interest him.

He wondered if they might get too close.. What happened if Barnabas let go of his restraint and began biting him.

Deep down Barnabas would want to do it. Would want to have somebody that would not be dead too soon, leaving him to visit graves for centuries to come...

He did not want to. He might one day... and he might one day go public and stop worrying about being reelected...

Well, that was all in the future. Now they had this misunderstanding to clear up. Barnabas would apologize for hurting him, and he would laugh and tell him that he was not the first not the last one to be clumsy and overeager, and that it did not matter...

A harsh laugh interrupted his reverie.

"You actually love him, don't you?"

He looked up, startled. Here was this woman in front of him, wet clothes clinging to the body, stringy hair over her face.

"You are Ruby, is that it? Ruby Tate?"

"Yes. Ruby Tate." the woman laughed again with fierce scorn. "I see that you remember me."

George frowned "You are angry with me. Why?"

"You actually do him, don't you?"

"Yes. I do. But why? What have I ever done to you that you show me such anger? I found him as you told me to. I took good care of him."

"You are a cop and a fag. That should be enough."

"It is not."

"And you are too dumb to know when you have been raped."

George looked at her, trying to figure out what she was saying.

"Do you really think that it was Barnabas who took you to bed that last time? He'd never had dared on his own. I forced his body to do it. I hurt you, didn't I? I hope so, you dumb cop."

"Why would you do what you say you did?"

"Because you are a cop. And because cops raped me when they felt like it. And I could not complain. Cops can always get away with that kind of thing."

George refused to believe her words. That was what she wanted him to do. Still...

"Why should Barnabas allow you to use his body for that?"

"He owes me for killing me."

"To hurt me? He would not allow that. I never hurt you. I never raped anybody."

"You don't care for women. If you did you'd rape them, as I was raped."

George shook his head.

"And you did rape Barnabas, didn't you? He was bound and gagged when you took him. I took revenge for both of us. And he allowed me to. He said that I could use his body as I wished, and I did. "

George felt the nausea mount. He knew Ruby's type. He knew how they fastened on weakness. Cruelty breeds cruelty, and those who had to endure helpless the cruelty of others soften, when give someone more helpless could not show compassion.

"You raped him. Cops raped and beat me. He let me use his body to even up the score. And you did scream, at leas once."

George shook his head again. "I don't believe you."

But he did. He believed that Barnabas had done that. Had delivered him to this resentful whore.

Barnabas' eyes opened. "George" he said with dreaminess in his eyes.

George jumped away "Don't touch me! How could you!"

"Could what?" but Barnabas knew the answer as she cold hear Ruby's laughter.

"You delivered me to Ruby Tate, and she raped me."

Then he ran out and slammed the door.


	12. Chapter 12

Chapter 12

His tongue tried to push the stone out, but it would not go past his teeth. His jaws were distended and they were beginning to hurt.

So did his wrists and ankles. His body was rigid, frozen by the cross hanging from his neck.

Why had he trusted them? Why did he expect them to have any mercy?

Would his friends miss him? Would they look for him? Or would they believe him to be dead? They had severed his mental links to those he fed from. And if Trask could make the wounds in their throats disappear, then everyone would believe he was dead...

They would mourn him. At least some of them. Maybe Willie would name a son after him. Maybe Phillip... Then they would go on with their lives. While he lay helpless there, slowly going mad.

For he would go mad. Slowly his mind would escape the cruel reality by making up a world of its own. For a while he would dream of those world, live in them, and then he would wake up, still strapped to the plank.

He knew how it would happen. It had happened to him before when his father had chained him in his coffin.

And one day he would be released. Eventually. If he was lucky, he would be released in the daytime, and the sun would finish him off... Maybe he'd just be a vegetable by then...

But it might not happen that way. He might be free, go out into the world, torn in anguish, lost in madness, looking for Julia, for Willie, for all who had meant so much to him and who would then be gone.

What would he do then? What he had done to Maggie in 67? What he had done to Willie? Would there be a Julia to take pity on him and help him find himself again?

He had lost them. The people who mattered most, they were lost to him. And he was helpless. A consciousness attached to an immobilized, painful body.

It was unfair. Trask did not have to wait that long. When the oxygen ran out, he died. But him, nothing sort of the stake or the daylight could kill him. Or that blade, if it was ever to fall over him...

... He was with Willie. They were waiting for Louella to come down with the baby. Willie was disheveled and talking a bit too shrilly.

"You'll see what a beautiful baby it is, Barnabas.

There was a scream upstairs. Willie did not react. He continued talking as if nothing had happened.

He raced upstairs and found Louella's beheaded body in a pool of blood.

The baby laughed at him, sharp, triangular teeth in his mouth... and he had Carl's eyes "don't you think it is a good joke, Barnabas?"...

He was again on the plank.

So he had had his first nightmare. His first dream of escape. They would come again and again and again, and each of them would be longer, more real than the previous one.

He strained his eyes, but all he could find was darkness and the shape of the bricks that closed the entrance. He tried to listen but whatever sounds there were he could not identify them. There were no living creatures there. They would die of suffocation sooner or later. Only him. He strained his consciousness, not in the hope of finding someone to help him, but because it have him something to do, something to strive for. Something that allowed him to remember who he was.

... George was now with him.

"So, Justice has caught up with you at last, didn't it?" George asked, his eyes flinty.

He looked piteously at George, begging him to release him/

"You were tried and convicted in a court of law "George continued. "As an officer of the court I can't set you free. Still..."

George laughed and his features seemed to blur.

"You owe me a lover, you realize that."

There was another figure behind George. Dave, he thought. But the other man laughed, and it was Petofi. And George was now Aristide.

"Do you want him first?" Petofi asked with cold malignity "I will hold him for you."

And he did, and Aristide did. All he could do was grit his teeth and refuse to be broken. Remember not to give Petofi what he wanted...

...And he was looking at the bricks again.

The dreams would get nastier and nastier, too.

He wanted to see George again. He wanted to see all of them. But he could not. He'd never see them again. By the time he was released, Willie's child would have died of old age.

When he was released again eh would be that vicious demented creature that he had been once. That is, if he did not become catatonic first.

What would he do? Would he look for Willie? For Julia? Would he ever make his way back? Would he find anyone to help him?

He thought of the one who had not joined his persecutors, because the account had been settled in a different way. He wondered if Dave could know what had happened to him, if there was any way he could make the blade fall.

"Please" he begged in his mind. "You know what I was like then. Don't let me become like that again."

* * *

"Barnabas is still missing." George said to Julia who was much improved. "I don't know where else to look for him."

"You still think you can find him?"

George shook his head, discouraged "I saw Frances. Then wounds in her throat have disappeared. So have Buffy's. And Alma's. You know what this means."

"But it can't be!"

"He's dead, Julia. We have to accept it. Both you and Willie have recovered from your injuries in record time. I think that he bought your lives with his."

Julia sobbed.

George put his hand over her shoulder. "He would not want you to be unhappy about it."

* * *

He could not longer feel his lower jaw. Nor his hands or feet. The bindings had not been placed to restrain him, only to add father torment.

Again he marveled at their hatred. Sure, Trask's death had been a slow one, but none of the others he had tormented this way. At least he had been quick. Why would they do this to him? Why would they refuse to let the blade fall?

Why couldn't they let him die?

* * *

George reread what he had written. Barnabas' eulogy. He would deliver it tomorrow at the memorial service they would be holding.

He threw the pen away in disgust. That what all he could do for him then?

He took the sheet and crumbled it slowly. It was an empty gesture, he knew, a way of not accepting his death.

It only meant that he had to start writing again...

He was going to miss him. Miss him like crazy. And there was nothing he could do about it.

He heard a noise. He looked up, through teary eyes. And that's how he saw her.

Her clothes were from another century, and she was not solid...

"Barnabas Collins isn't dead." Ruby Tate told him. "he needs your help. This is what you need to do."

* * *

...Willie was dead. He lay there, his face ashen, his eyes closed. Louella was dead, too, her baby still inside her...

Then Julia and Kenneth, side by side.

Chris... Amy... David...

He tried t look away, only to see the bodies of Carolyn, Roger, and Edmund.

Phillip and Vicky laid to the right. Elizabeth to the left. Sabrina and Maggie further behind...

They were all dead. And he was alive.

He sobbed, but the sound didn't come. Because of the stone in his mouth. He tried to touch Willie, but could not because his hands were bound behind him...

He wept, his tears falling into the basket...

...He had been dreaming again. It had not happened. They hadn't died.

Yes. But by the time he was finally released, they would all be dead.

At least he could still tell the difference between dreams and reality. But not for much longer. Horrible as the dreams were, they offered more comfort than reality.

He was alone, immobilized, in the dark, deaf, and mute. With nothing to do but go slowly crazy. For how long could he hold out? Would there be any point in fighting it? He would lose that battle in the end.

Yet he wanted to cling to those faces and voices that had meant so much to him. The face of Vicky when he had brought her back from the prison of her own mind...

He would be like Vicky had been... Curled up in a corner of his own mind, sobbing, not daring to come out again.

It had been a miracle that the hadn't been a vegetable when Willie had released him in 67. Whether the miracle would repeat itself was doubtful. He would lose that battle, and be nothing...

And that was the best that could happen anyway...

There were noises from behind the wall. Strong blows being struck against the bricks, but lost in his feverish half dreams he failed to notice them.


	13. Chapter 13

Chapter 13

The man held she shard of glass high in the air and defied anyone to take it form him.

Ruby stood, transfixed. The man could not hurt her. No one but herself could do that. Still, the feeling of danger was about the room, and for a while she remembered what physical pan was like.

"Put that down" Barnabas spoke to the man, keeping his voice low, yet commanding.

"I ain't doing no such thing. Not with you. Do you think that I don't know what your are?"

Barnabas stopped. No, the man could not know about him. He had not taken blood from him yet, because Julia thought that it might make things worse.

How could he have found out?... He knew that working for Julia was a gamble, that there was always a risk that a patient would find out and react in highly unpredictable ways...

Ruby could follow the emotions and thoughts running through Barnabas. And they were not what she expected. Barnabas felt no fear nor shame. All his concerns is how that affected the madman holding the shard.

Barnabas began to move. No sudden movements, he reminded himself. No vanishing and reappearing... Not with someone whose reactions he could not foresee... He thought that maybe he should back down, so as to make the man less agitated.

"Do you think that I don't know that you are a spy?"

"A spy?"

"Yes. A stinking spy. That's why you spend so much time in the basement. You keep your radio in there."

For a moment Barnabas felt relief, but it did not last long as he reexamined the situation.

For whatever reasons the man did not trust him. And those conclusions that the man had reached, no matter how wrong, were due to his own actions. Actions that he could not explain. He could not help keeping the basement locked against prying eyes. He could not avoid spending so much time there.

And if the man could not trust him, how could he treat him? And, more important now, how could get him to release his improvised weapon?

He could not leave the room, not with the man holding that glass shard (and how had he gotten it, anyway? He'd have to look into it). He could not reason with the man. He could try to hypnotize him but the man was less than receptive...

Ruby could not understand what was happening. Why was it so important to Barnabas what happened to that crazy?

It made no sense. To care for that... Who would care for that nut?

Yet...

Barnabas stared at the man, trying to decide when to jump him, if it was possible without hurting him...

Then a song came from the window.. A song that he had not heard in over a century...

It was Ruby, by the window, singing.

The man turned to her direction. Amazement showed in him as he saw the semi-transparent, floating woman.

That was enough. In a second Barnabas had caught him and rendered him unconscious, quickly and painlessly.

He put away the shard with relief and gave the man a shot of tranquilizers. Later he'd arrange to have him transferred to another therapist.

"Tell me, why did I do it?" Ruby shouted "Why did I help you?"

'I don't know. But I am grateful that you did."

"What are you to me? What is he to me that I should care for either of you? Why did I bother?" anger exploded in her. "Why should I care? He's mad. He's nothing. Why should I do anything for anyone?"

Barnabas understood that the moment of truth had finally arrived, for Ruby and for himself.

"You never did anything for anyone? Not even when you were a little girl?"

"I was too young and dumb to know better. But I learned fast."

"Everyone is out for himself. Is that what you believe?"

"Yes!"

"But now you know better, or you'd not have helped me."

"I don't know nothing!" Ruby turned her back on him.

But she did not disappear.

"You know it." Barnabas insisted softly.

"Damn you!" What have you done to me? It is all your fault, all of it!"

"I promised you that I would teach you all that you never had the chance to learn for yourself."

"I did not mean this! I did not want to know this!"

"You need to know this, Ruby. This is what you lingered so many years for.

"I don't want to know it!"

"It is true."

Ruby sobbed "I hate you!"

"You don't hate me."

"What right had you?" Who asked you? You and that... that..."

Barnabas guessed who she referred to.

"Your guide?"

"The one who told me to tell your cop how to find you."

"You don't want to be left alone." he went ahead , telling Ruby what she needed to hear. " you want our help."

"You are a fine one to help me. You pushed me into the water. Drowned me deliberately."

"It was an accident. It was criminal negligence of my part."

"As you wish. It makes no difference. You left a trail of corpses behind you."

"That part is over. Don't dwell on it."

"Why? " Some of her malice returned. "are you afraid to hear it?"

"No. But it does not help you to discuss it."

"Help me? Are you trying to make me believe you want to help me?"

Indeed he did. Ruby knew it. She had known from the beginning. And that was the worst. To know how much he cared for her.

He moved away, and she stood there, watching him.

How could she feel this way? Why should she care about him or any of the nuts?"

Yet she did.

She knew that something had changed. It had not, for a time (and time meant a different thing for her than for him.).

But she knew that she was earthbound and that she could choose not to remain so.

Yet she wanted it. For as long as Barnabas lived she would remain as she was. She had to extract her revenge.

But she had got it. Or most of it, anyway. Why was that not enough? Why did she think that no matter how much pain she inflicted on Barnabas she would still not be free?

What had changed? What was different now? Why did she care? Why had she helped Barnabas?

"Yes, Ruby, why" a voice that only she could hear reached her.

"You tell me why?" she answered that invisible voice "It was your idea, wasn't it? Helping set him free so that he and I could settle accounts! I should have left him where he was!"

There was a glow, a light so intense, so clear that she had to avoid looking at it. Yet Barnabas cold not see it... Barnabas seemed frozen, as was the patient...She was now in a pocket of timelessness questioning her guide.

"Don't you know the answer to that, Ruby Tate?"

"I am not getting what I wanted!"

"What were your terms?"

"I would get even for all that I suffered."

"No, Ruby. He cannot give you that. He can't atone for all you suffered. He desperately wants to, but there are some things that are beyond him. No, remember what he offered you. What was it?"

"That I would learn all I never had the chance to. About love. About friendship... about all I never had."

"And have you not learned?"

"About love?" How can I learn when her refuses to do the cop again?"

"There is more to love than sex. And his refusal to let you exploit Brant is an act of love of his part. He loves George too much to let you hurt him."

"What has love to do with it?"

"Everything."

"You speak in riddles. Why can't I see your face? Why can't I know you?"

"I am your guide, Ruby. I am the one who can help you find your way. My name, it doesn't matter. Our paths never crossed in the world. I was born much later after your death."

":Barnabas knew you."

"Yes. We have an interesting story we two. . I broke his heart. He started by killing me. But I broke him, and left him to put himself together again. This is why when he looks at you, he does not see his guilt, but you and your need. He does not help you to make himself feel better, but because you need help, and he can give it to you."

Confusion raged in Ruby :And if I don't want to be helped?"

"But you do, Ruby. You want to be free. But there is only one way. Accept what he gave you. Renounce your hatred of him. Thus you will be able to move forward."

"But if I want to stay..."

"But you do not want it. What is here for your? Going over all your own wounds, recollecting your past hurts, looking for a satisfaction that will never come... Ruby, he has atoned for your death, but no one c an atone for your life. All you can do is walk away from the pain."

"I want... I want..."

"You want to be free of the pain, isn't that true?"

"yes. But he owes me... he owes me..."

"There is a way that he can really pay you back."


	14. Chapter 14

Chapter 14

It was disconcerting to see a ghost cry.

It as more disconcerting to know that it was Ruby. Her anger and abuse had driven invisible spikes under his skin. He had almost give up on her softening up, even if he had hoped for it.

"It is over, Ruby." he said quietly.

Ruby shook her head "What is happening to me? Why are you making me feel like this?"

"It had to happen, Ruby. You know that."

She sobbed. She had been sobbing for a while, but now the hard edge was vanishing.

"I never wanted to feel like this!"

"But you want it now."

"How can I want this pain?"

"It is good pain. Let it be."

"How can pain be good? What would you know of it?" Yet he did know. And she knew, too.

She wept a bit more "I guess he was right." she said.

"He?"

"He told me to renounce my anger."

Barnabas looked at her. "Can you do it? Are you willing to do it?"

Ruby looked at him. A long, sad look. Barnabas held her eyes. There was pain there. But he no longer had to turn his face away from her. This pain was bearable, and was meant to be shared.

"Yes." Ruby finally said. "I renounce it. It was not your fault, what I tried t make you pay for. And you have done what your promised. I can't hate you."

"Ruby, I still wish that I could give you all that you missed."

"You can't give it to me. But I can have it on my own." she smiled, a small secretive smile. "he told me so. And now I believe it."

Barnabas nodded, not knowing what to say next, but aware of the fact that peace was now being made between them.

"Goodbye, Barnabas Collins" she smiled again. "Or rather, until we meet again."

And she vanished.

* * *

Louella leaned against the door. "Willie" she tried to speak calmly "we have to go now."

"Are you...?" It was what he expected. Yet Willie did not know how to react.

"Yes. We'd better go to the hospital now."

"The hospital?"

"Sure. As when we did the drills. Do your remember the drills?"

Willie nodded.

"Then make believe this is another one and let's get there."

* * *

Julia offered George a cup of teal, tactfully saying nothing while he spoke.

"He's got that girl riding him, Ruby Tate. Well, he did owe her. She told me where to find him, and the favor was not for free."

Julia nodded, and again said nothing. After a few moments, George spoke again.

"I can understand his trying to pay off his debt, but...

"But it bothers you that you got caught in the middle?"

"Yes. Do you realize what she did to me? What she forced Barnabas to do?" The blush in George's face deepened. "She used Barnabas' body because she wanted to rape a cop."

"And you blame Barnabas for it?"

"He probably did not know what she intended. He was naive in his dealings with her."

"The truth, George."

George shifted uneasily in his chair. "I can't lie to you, doctor, can I? yes. I know how he might have been caught. I know that he did not want that to happen. But I am too hurt to be forgiving."

"You have a right to your anger. But tell me, once you are not so angry, will you continue to reject him?"

"I... I don't know. It is too much of a shock. I feel I deserve an explanation, at least. And I not able to plan so far ahead."

"Don't see him while you are still angry. I'll talk to him. Tell him how you feel and that you don't trust yourself right now. In the meantime, neither of you is in shape to handle the emotional demands that meeting would make on you. Specially if he's still dealing with the girl. He has a debt to pay, and that means that he is honor bound to do it."

"And then there is Urien..." George's voice lowered, as the shame "Urien is not something I am proud of."

"But you did not rape him."

"I could have. If the madness had lasted a few more seconds I would have... It does not make it any better, except for him."

"The madness stopped because you made it stop. You recognized what it was pushing you to do, and reacted. And you are now helping him."

George shrugged unhappily "Just like Dave helped his boys. He didn't always ask for payment, you know. And even when he did, he was never brutal. He never raped anyone, as I almost did to Urien."

Julia let him talk, without trying to interrupt him. George needed to. She was a bit surprised a not finding herself wincing when he mentioned Dave. The wound had finally healed, then?

"Will you come to see Urien?" George asked. "If I am going to be responsible for him I would appreciate your advice. I don't know very well what I should do. I am sure that he's baffled because I don't demand that he sleeps with me in exchange for protection."

"Yes, it might be difficult for him to understand your doing anything for him asking nothing in return. It will take some time for him to understand that people DO such things."

"I will try to make him understand. After all, he is my responsibility."

"Willie had the baby?" Barnabas repeated, breathless into the phone receiver.

"Louella did." Frances said, at the other end of the line. "Really, Barnabas, I don't see why you are so surprised. You knew that it was coming."

"But I calculated that she had one more week to go."

"So you are not very good at math. Well, are you coming to Collinsport to see the baby? Both parents want to introduce her to you."

* * *

"You should eat more vegetables. They are full of vitamins." George chided Urien.

"I don't need them."

"Everybody needs vitamins. You can't live on junk food forever."

It was amazing. It was only a few days ago that Urien had moved in with him and he was already nagging him like a Jewish mother...

Or like Barnabas...

Barnabas... he searched for his anger. It was there, still. And anger at Ruby Tate, too. But there was a bit of shame in his anger, as he realized that Ruby had told the truth. She had learned only the bad side of the police, and while he knew that he was not like the creeps that had assaulted her, he was not unlike them, either. He had almost proven her right...

Yet there was still anger. He wondered when he could face Barnabas again.

"Sir, Mr. Brant" Urien asked, looking down. "Why are you doing this? I mean, caring for me?"

"You are worth saving."

"Do you want me to be your boy?"

"No, I don't" George had lost count of the times Urien had asked him that question, and each time it was not. He did find Urien somewhat attractive, and if there had been a way to make the relationship non-exploitative he might consider the offer. But there was no way of it ever being that way, and it was in Urien's interest that he refused. After all, one-night stands he could always have. A son is more difficult to get.

"You like boys, don't you? Better than girls?"

"I don't want to make a kept boy out of you."

"Why not?"

"Because I want you to understand that you don't have to sell you ass. I want you to have a decent life."

"Don't you find me attractive?"

"You are a very attractive boy. But it is wrong for both of us to go to bed together. If things were different I might consider you."

"How could they be different?"

"I am responsible for you. If you came to me freely and not trying to hustle your bare necessities, if it could be love, if I could do it without guilt, then maybe. But I also have someone else."

"You have someone? Is he pretty?"

"Not precisely pretty."

"Is he young?"

"No."

Urien's face took on a crafty look. "Want to make it a threesome?"

Amused, George shook his head. "Why do you insist so much in getting me to bed?"

"I..." Urien grasped for reasons that George would understand. "I just wanted to say thank you."

"Save the thanks for later. And offering yourself to me is not the way."

* * *

She was such a tiny baby. Barnabas watched her from behind the glass, marveling at the the delicacy of the small hands. So tiny, so perfect. And the little face, too...

"She is beautiful, isn't she?" Frances said to him.

"I envy Willie." Barnabas said. "He's so lucky and he doesn't even know it. Where is him, by the way?"

"Sleeping."

"How can he be sleeping at this time?"

Frances giggled. "Isn't it amazing what a shot of tranquilizers can do? We HAD to dope him. He was being impossible on top of a nervous wreck. Tomorrow, he will be himself again.

Barnabas shook his head, muttered something about the medical profession's penchant for over prescribing and then returned to watch the little baby.

"You wish you could have one of your own, don't you?"

"Yes. And I never can now. As for adopting, what judge will let me? You saw what happened with Edmund. Well, if I can't be a father, maybe Willie will let me be an uncle.

The baby moved slightly, turning her head in his direction and opening her eyes.

She met Barnabas' eyes. They were old eyes, knowing, with hurt in them still.

"Ruby" Barnabas gasped.

The eyes changed. They were baby eyes now. And she began to cry.

"It is all right, Ruby." Barnabas said gently. "Things will go right for you this time. I will see to it."

* * *

Barnabas was in Collinsport, looking for Willie's baby and he did not know whether or not to go see him.

He was angry still. But he missed him too. He did not want to himself how much he did. Not just the physical relationship, but his company. His being there, stubborn, argumentative, and volunteering opinions that nobody had asked of him.

He remembered Julia's advice. Was he ready to forgive Barnabas? And if he was not, was he ready to terminate their relationship?

He did not want it to end. Not over Ruby Tate. Was he ready to forgive him? Not just for what Ruby Take had done to him, but for driving him to almost rape Urien?

Urien was safe now. He looked at him, sleeping, in the other room. Whatever desire he might have for that young body was gone now. The only instincts Urien aroused now were paternal ones. He wanted more than anything else to take care of Urien. Urien should not have to live the way he did.

...But it could have happened differently...

At the last moment the madness had subsided. He had controlled himself and felt shame.

Could he forgive Barnabas for that?


	15. Chapter 15

Chapter 15

He had to admit that Urien was attractive in some ways. But not for him. Nothing wrong with his body. But his mind... Urien was the typical adolescent in many ways, believing that 'Up your nose with a rubber hose' was the summum of wit. It didn't do to have somebody who, great as he might be in bed, could grate your nerves when he was out of it. That, apart from ethical reasons, of course.

Of course, not everyone shared those feelings. Too many looked for youth in their bed partners, male or female, because they somehow believed that they kept themselves young that way. He smiled wryly. Male menopause, it was called. Maybe one day it would strike him.

Dave had liked them young. He could not make love to them once they looked like they were growing up. It had been a pity, in a way, because his quirk had deprived him of much.

As he thought of Dave, he remembered Barnabas. Dave had been right about that. They were very much alike the two of them. Both had the same drive, the same need, to exploit others for their benefit. A physical need that they could not control. And at the same time a strong emotional need to give of themselves. They needed to take, Barnabas the blood and Dave the sex. And they needed to give.

And they had both worked out schemes by which they could satisfy both their needs, ministering to those they preyed on.

Barnabas _had_ to let Ruby possess him. He had to serve her, as he had once used her. He had been unwise in the means he had chosen. but no one had accused Barnabas of thinking things through... It was not Barnabas' fault, what had happened.

He realized that he was playing with Dave's cufflinks. Black onyx cufflinks. The same stone of which Barnabas' ring was made...

He had loved Dave. He loved Barnabas. He wanted him back. No matter what had happened with Ruby, he wanted him back. But could he forgive him?

Next time he saw him, could he say the right thing? Could he offer his love again? Or would bitterness come between the two?

* * *

"We are going to call her Pearl." Willie said proudly. He spoke calmly. Barnabas had to admit that whatever misgivings he had about Valium, there were times when it was called for.

"Pearl?" Barnabas wasn't surprised to hear it. "How did you come out by it?"

"I dunno... All right. To keep my mother-in-law happy. Anyway, it is a pretty name don't you think?"

Pearl... Ruby... it made sense.

"Yes. It is a pretty name. Can I... can I hold her?"

"Here. Be careful" Louella placed the little bundle in his arms.

Pearl gurgled and looked at him.

Ruby's eyes. He had not been wrong. It was Ruby Tate, coming back as Pearl Loomis, coming for what she had missed in 1795.

"This time it is going to be different, you'll see." he spoke softly "I will make things go right for you. I won't let anyone hurt you."

Pearl hiccupped and vomited coagulated milk on his shoulder.

"I am sorry." Willie said, as he began wiping out the mess. "she does that after feeding, if she's had too much."

"No harm done." Barnabas reassured him. "The coat is old and it's got worse stains than milk in it." he cradled the baby and began humming to it. How did that son that his mother sang to Sarah? He only remembered half the words...

* * *

The house was deserted. Buffy had very likely gone off with Frank. And he did not begrudge her that. He was away and she had little to do alone here.

He lit the candles and the fire. He did not need it, but it always soothed him to watch the flames. Even after handling Laura he still looked on a burning fire with pleasure.

He heard the car approach, a familiar roar of the motor. Then the steps. Man's steps. A particular man's steps.

He opened the door. George was there.

"George?"

"Don't say anything. Not until I am done. I was very angry for what happened. I still am. I know that it was not your fault, but it takes more than knowledge to make the anger go away." he pressed his lips together, as if thinking the next words, trying to make them be the right words. "But I want you. I don't want to lose you over this. What do you say?"

"I want you, too.": He said simply. Three months ago he would have been unable to say those words, and now...

They stood a few seconds like this, facing each other, then George laughed "What the Hell?" and embraced Barnabas.

Later, quite a bit later, they talked. About Ruby, what Barnabas had done right and wrong in handling her. About Urien and George's shame. They agreed that Urien needed less guilt and more of a commitment to his future. They talked about Julia, and how she had gotten together again with Kenneth, Barnabas recounting his part on it, still shocked by the meaning he found hidden in Kenneth's new found tolerance, which made George chuckle knowingly. They talked about Willie and the baby.

"So Ruby is now reborn and will not come back"

"Yes."

"And here we are, at last. And with luck this time we won't have to deal with more figures of your past."

"They might come back, though. Trask and the others still want their revenge."

"Then we'll deal with them as the time comes."

* * *

Will Derek help drive the drug dealers out of Collinsport? What will happen to Urien? How will Barnabas handle himself as an honorary uncle for Willie's baby?

Stay tuned...


End file.
